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Theo Is Full Of Crap, Source Says

"Theo is full of crap," Cub Factor founder Marty Gangler writes in this week. "Every small-market team in the history of baseball has thrown out the 'rebuilding the core' motto to get better through young players. You can find guys that will help you win right now. I still believe the tanking of the last two years was all for the stadium deal. So maybe that was his plan all along - and it worked, so he's doing what he has to do."

Agreed. But wait, there's more:

"It's too bad about Old Style. But this is a new Wrigley. Guys like my dad heading out there and knocking back eight or so Old Styles in the bleachers are long gone. He doesn't have the time, money, and he's too old anyway. Like it or not with the changes, it has to be done because these are the people going to the park now. The young 'adults' that go to Wrigley and really spend their disposable income don't want to drink Old Style and look at an old scoreboard. The out-of-towners from Iowa will drink Bud until they're red in the face and the 'in' crowd will go with the craft brews."

Some of which are owned by . . . Anheuser-Busch.

*

Like I wrote last week, the ironic gentrification of the Cubs - but isn't gentrification always ironic - is complete. And they still suck.

The Week in Review: The Cubs took two of three from the Reds and dropped three of four to the Pirates. At least they're playing games in September that matter.

Week in Preview: The Cubs go on the road for four crucial games in Milwaukee that might go a long way in determining next season's draft position, and then come home for a three-game shellacking by the Braves.

The Second Basemen Report: Darwin Barney's problems at the plate cannot simply be attributed to a singularly bad season - instead, the trendline over the last three seasons are clear: his BA has dropped from .276 to .254 to .213; his OBP has dropped from .313 to .299 to .269; and his OPS has dropped from .666 to .653 to .583.

The Third Basemen Report: "I've done a lot of shifting before, but I feel like we over-shift a lot here."

Wishing Upon A Starlin: Nice of you to come around, Dale.

The Legend of Dioner Navarro: Remarkably, he's apparently not the slowest person in the majors - or even on the Cubs.

Endorsement No-Brainer: Old Style for the White Sox.

Laughable Headline of the Week: Glove Work By Darwin Barney, Anthony Rizzo And Starlin Castro Has Been A Positive For Cubs.

Deserted Cubs: Tony Campana is hitting .306 with an OBP of .426 for the Diamondbacks.

Ameritrade Stock Pick of the Week: Shares of Old Style are trading up as they disassociate themselves from losers.

Sveum's Shadow: Dale Sveum's Five O'Clock Shadow remains at 11:59 p.m. because a stubborn sliver of pride remains even as his insides have turned to jelly. And just like his Uncle Lou, he knows that you don't dare quit your job at the plant but instead find a way to get fired.

Shark Tank: It took Jeff Samardzija 114 pitches to get through 5 2/3 innings against the Pirates, giving up six earned runs on eight hits - including two home runs - five strikeouts and three walks.

How's that power arm philosophy going, Theo?

The Shark could learn from Scott Baker, who came up in the Twins' pitch-to-contact system. Baker has thrown just 130 pitches in 11 sterling innings - 93 of them for strikes. He has issued just one walk, given up just five hits and hasn't cracked 90 on the radar gun.

Jumbotron Preview: Five-thousand-seven-hundred square-feet of the Kiss Cam searching for couples amidst the empty seats.

Kubs Kalender: Wait 'til next year 2015 2016 2017.

Over/Under: Dollars the price of beer goes up when they switch to Budweiser: 2.

Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that Theo's plan looks a lot like Andy MacPhail's plan.

The Cub Factor: Unlike Alfonso Soriano Starlin Castro, you can catch 'em all!

The White Sox Report: Know the enemy.

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The Cub Factor welcomes your comments.

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