Beachwood Sports ArchiveA monthly look back
Beachwood Sports VideoPlease Stop Believing 99 Years of Cub Losses The 1908 Song Blame It On Bartman We Can't Wait 100 Years Dusty Must Get Fired
Search The Beachwood Reporter
Subscribe to the Newsletter
Despite what many Back to the Future enthusiasts think is destiny, it may be a good time to pump the brakes on the 2015 Chicago Cubs.
Which got me thinking, if the Cubs were a car right now, what kind of car would it be? It would certainly be the first model of a new car company and you probably wouldn't want to buy it right now. But it would look great in your driveway and that one neighbor from the other side of the street would come over and be super jealous of your car. And then he'll ask you to pop the hood. And the engine looks great. Then he'll ask you to start it up. And despite a ton of horsepower the timing wouldn't be right and all the cylinders wouldn't be firing at the same time. And it's so new and has so few road-tested miles that oil doesn't even get to all parts of the engine. So it just doesn't run that great and sputters a lot. And then he'll ask to take a ride, but there would be an issue with the steering as all the linkage just isn't quite right. So you would have to fight to keep it in the correct lane. Not to mention the transmission - it's a stick and getting it into the middle gears isn't easy to do, and sometimes the car just sits in neutral and makes a lot of noise but doesn't go anywhere. It's got a sweet new stereo system but it's probably too big, and it can only seat two people as the back doors don't open and the back seats are just metal frames right now. And you could have rented a car from just over the border for a while to make everyone a little more comfortable in the short term but you were a little too proud of your car to do that.
So yeah, you can get what I'm talking about with this Cubs team and this great looking car. Oh, and your garage doesn't have a roof and is under construction.
The Week in Review: The Cubs took two of three from the Pirates and lost two of three to the Bad News Brewers. And then the Brewers fired their manager for this guy. Meanwhile, the Cubs dropped the first of a four-game set against the Cardinals on Monday night.
The Week in Preview: The Boys in Blue stay in Saint Lou for three more against the Cards and then head north for three against the Bad News Brewers. I'm a little giddy over the new batting stances. Giddy!
The Second Basemen Report: Addison Russell started five of six games this week at second, with Jonathan "Who?" Hererra getting the other start. Russell's biggest contribution was his first major league homer in a 1-0 win over the Brewers on Friday. He looks legit, or more correctly, is legit enough that he's going to have to really fall off the deep end to not be the second baseman 90% of the time. So, in this case, the Second Baseman Report may be missed.
In former second basemen news, Mark DeRosa last played second base for the Cubs in 2008. He retired in 2013 and is now a host of an MLB morning show featuring a segment called "The D-Train" where he gives pointed opinions. I'm not sure why pointed opinions have to be relegated to a train, or more specifically the train in between the C and E trains, but that's how it goes. He is missed.
Mad(don) Scientist: You have to hand it to this guy - He keeps it loose and keeps these guys smiling. Will Q reciprocate on the next Blackhawks road trip?
Ameritrade Stock Pick of the Week: Shares of Kubs Kool-Aid traded a bit lower this week. But just give it a week.
Kubs Kalender: On Sunday at Miller Park, all fans will receive a BobbleHank to honor the Brewers dog team rescued. But I guess it's better than 1970s Bud Selig Bobblehead Day. Geez Brewers, just give everyone a beer instead.
Over/Under: The number of major league games Junior Lake has left: +/- 18.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that we all need to play this thing out and enjoy the ride.
Touch 'em all: The Cub Factor archives.
Know thy enemy: The White Sox Reports.
Marty Gangler is our man on the Cub. He welcomes your comments.
Convenient competing narratives.Continue reading "All Is Not Forgiven, John Fox & Co." »
Posted on Dec 11, 2017