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Reality BobbleCubs

* Tom Ricketts depositing another million dollars into his bank account.

* Rick Renteria liking everything on Facebook.

* Javy Baez swinging at a pitch bouncing three feet in front of the plate.

* Darwin Barney getting a World Series ring.

* Edwin Jackson cashing a paycheck.

* Len Kasper fixing a bump to get through another three-and-a-half hour game.

The Week In Review: The Cubs split four-game tilts each against the Brewers and Mets. Hamsters on a wheel.

The Week In Preview: Spoiler alert: The Giants and Orioles each come in for three.

Wrigley Is 100 Celebration: One hundred more articles will be written during the season's final six weeks speculating on what the Cubs will do with so many shortstops in the organization.

Mad Merch: It's hard to beat last Wednesday's Zubazpalooza, but Sunday's Gracie the Swan Beanie Baby giveaway comes close. Will the swan be wearing prison stripes? Oh yeah, that's right, no.

Prospects Are Suspects: "Former prospect Brett Jackson was once frequently compared to greats like Jim Edmonds and Larry Walker."

Jed Hoyer Condescension Meter: 10.

"Strikeouts with power can be OK," Hoyer said. "But when you look at the situational hitting metric right now, we're at the bottom, and that has to get better. You have to be able to change your approach, hit the ball to the right side and know when a ground ball to second is as good as a single and things like that."

Um, we're in Year Three of Epstoyer. The kids aren't doing this yet?

That's Ricky: "'I don't think that's in the forefront, not my thinking or the organization's,' manager Rick Renteria said of the possibility of pulling Jackson out of the rotation."

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And:

"When asked if the high strikeout rate set off alarms, Renteria replied, 'no.'"

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I finally figured out who Ricky Renteria is: New Brian.

I think I'll start calling him New Dale.

Laughable Headline Of The Week: "Encouraged By Defeat, Mets Stay Positive As Rookie Throws Aggressively."

Oh, wait. That's the Mets. In a loss to the Cubs.

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Well, there's always this: "Cubs' Future Four Report: 0-for-16."

Kubs Kulture: "Cubs Fans Go Into Tizzy When Hot Prospect Kris Bryant Hurts Foot In Iowa."

Dude stubbed his toe, fer chrissakes.

Billy Cub vs. Clark Cub: Neither was in the news this week.

Advantage: Billy.

The Junior Lake Show: Now playing in Des Moines.

Mustache Wisdom: "'Now that both sides have their structure and their people that are going to be at the hell, now we wait,' said Cubs pitcher Carlos Villanueva, the team's players' union rep and a member of the union's executive committee."

I really want to believe he said that, but I'm pretty sure he said "helm."

Wishing Upon A Starlin: Starlin Castro is hitting .286 - he hasn't hit higher since 2011. His OBP is .333 - it hasn't been higher since 2011.

Ameritrade Stock Pick of the Week: Shares of Zubaz remain sluggish.

Jumbotron Preview: 5,700 square-feet of .230-hitting superutility player Arismendy Alcantara.

Kubs Kalender: Wait 'til next year 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 2021.

Over/Under: Number of times "spoiler" will be used in Cubs articles the rest of the season: +/- 100.

Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that if you have three shortstops, you don't have any.

Hashtag Cubs

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The Cub Factor: Unlike Alfonso Soriano Starlin Castro, you can catch 'em all!

The White Sox Report: Baby Boomer Baseball.

The Beachwood Radio Sports Hour: Yay, Tastee-Freez!

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