The Cub Factor

In the back of everyone's mind there lives an angry little man who just doesn't believe. He's the little voice who tells you things. Sometimes it's good to listen to him - like when he says, "You don't have enough gas to get to DQ and back, you better get some or you'll be screwed." But other times he's just a jerk. Like when you are up to bat for your work softball team in a big spot and he says, "Who do you think you are? You're not the hero, you're going to tap out to the pitcher if you hit the ball at all, loser." I think it's safe to say that some people can tell the little man to screw off more than others, but as Cub fans can we ever tell that little man he's wrong when he says, "They are going to blow it, they always do. Now go eat another Eskimo Pie, fatass." And although personal favorite junk foods differ, all Cub fans can't turn off that little voice in their head. And sure, there are actual people who tell Cub fans this every day in real life, but tell them to stick it too. At least until October, because they will be in the playoffs. Then I'm afraid it's going to be a give-and-take death match with the little angry man inside your head. Because this is the best Cubs team since 1908 and the best chance they'll ever have in anyone's lifetime (unless you are >100) to win this thing.

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Week in Review: The Cubs went 5-3 including Labor Day, sweeping the Pirates, splitting the Phillies, and losing the first of a three-game series with the Astros. And like a real hungry guy with a steak that's a little overdone, it's not exactly the way you'd like it, but you really can't complain.

Week in Preview: Two more this week at home against the Astros and then on to Cincinnati for a weekend tilt with good ol' Dusty Baker and the crappy Reds. Expect Dusty to complain about something stupid, and the Cub to roll through the Reds.

The Second Basemen Report: Mark DeRosa started seven of the last eight games at second base and also saw time at shortstop. He has now played every position except centerfield, catcher, and third-base coach. Ronnie Cedeno got the other start at second. Just like Hendry drew it up.

In former second basemen news, Wayne Terwilliger has his own website.

The Zam Bomb: Coolers beware: Dead-arm period make Big Z an unhappy boy. Some might say furious.

Endorsement No-Brainer: Igloo coolers: Even tougher than Big Z.

Lost in Translation: Domo Octogato means "now batting eighth."

Sweet and Sour Lou: 69% sweet, 31% Sour. Lou is staying put on the Sweet-O-Meter this week even though he was noticeably grumpy on Labor Day. Maybe he comes from a union family. And just like your real crazy drunk uncle, Lou isn't disappointed in you for coming in third at the local swim meet, but he isn't happy about it either. He's "eh." Now go bring him a Falstaff and try not to shake it up on the way.

The Cubs Answer Man: First-Place Fears.

Center Stage: J-Ed got five of the last eight starts, with the other three going to R-Jo. Felix Pie may be among the September call-ups, but don't expect to see him in the starting lineup unless every other outfielder and Mark DeRosa get hurt. You know, just like Hendry drew that up.

The Cub Factor: Catch up with them all.

Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by the The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that just getting there is not enough.

Over/Under: The number of fans trading in their Fukudome apparel for DeRosa jerseys: +/- 1.5 million.

Mount Lou: Lou stays technically at Level Green. But he's still like a turning banana, ripening into Yellow. A minor expulsion of pre-eruption lava seems likely this week.

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