The Cub Factor

Holy crap. The Cubs are rolling. I mean they are rolling like a big ball of stuff down a big-ass steep hill. And I just want to let all Cub fans know that I am not going to talk about the following things because they Cubs had such a good week.

* You can still throw a dart into the Cubs dugout . . .

* You could throw a dart at a schedule and have a hard time landing on a team worse than the Rockies.

* You could throw a dart at Ted Lilly and not know whether you've just stuck Good Ted or Bad Ted.

* You could throw a dart at Jim Edmonds and probably get away with it, but tests are still inconclusive.

* If you threw a dart at Kerry Wood, he would hit you if you were the first guy to do it that day. Otherwise, you're safe.

* You could throw a dart at Tony LaRussa and he'd take it from the scrap heap and put it in the rotation.

* You could throw a dart at any player and any position and you're likely to see that combination sometime this season when Lou Piniella manages in extra innings.

* You could throw a dart at Carlos Zambrano and be the one to ignite a major meltdown.

* You could throw a dart at Jason Marquis, but somehow he'll continue making his starts.

* You could throw a dart into the stands at Wrigley Field and anyone you hit will have sworn this year is the year at least three times previously.

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Week in Review: The Cubs swept three from the Dodgers and four from the Rockies to go 7-0. You are now perfectly set up for heartbreak.

Week in Preview: The Cubs go West for three in San Diego and four in LA. I'm not sure if the Cubs can keep rolling all the way to California. That's a lot of rolling and they might get motion sickness.

The Second Basemen Report: Seven games this week with Mark DeRosa starting five and Mike Fontenot starting two. Now if they could only do something about the second baseman in left field who was signed to play center. You know, just like Hendry drew it up.

In former second basemen news, Eric Young is currently a baseball analyst for ESPN. He is missed.

The Zam Bomb: The Zam bomb moves all the way back to apologetic. But he is one dropped fly ball in the California sun away from getting furious.

Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by the The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that way too many people at Wrigley Field are making way too big a deal about Kosuke Fukudome being Japanese.

Over/Under: The number of people who think the Cub can win the World Series right now: +/- 1.2 million

Mount Lou:Anger lava has almost completely cooled and turned into metamorphic un-angry rock. This is still an active volcano though and the eruption season is far from over.

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