The Cub Factor

I really thought the Cubs were going to win this series with the D-Backs. I really did. And then they not only lose, they get swept. It got me to thinking about my Cub fandom. And it occurs to me: maybe it's like having a teenage son. As you watch the kid grow and make mistakes you just keep hoping he does well. And sometimes you're just happy to spend time with the kid. even if you know he's bad at his core. He doesn't do his fundamental chores correctly - doesn't cut the lawn right, can't be counted on to feed the dog, and his room is a dilapidated mess. But he's still your son.

Well, this year your son was just about to graduate from high school but got his girlfriend pregnant and was expelled for drinking on school grounds. But what are you going to do, turn his back on him? You'd like to, but you can't. So after a cooling off period, you'll make a few phone calls and call in a favor with an old client to get him a job working construction and with a little luck he'll be okay. Until the next time he screws up. And you'll stick with him just the same. That's just what it's like to be a parent - or a fan - of a loser. There's nothing you can do about it but cope. It is what it is.

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Week in Review: The Cubs just ran out of gas. And then alternator went bad. Which shorted out the battery, which then fried the starter and then it started raining and the window didn't go up and everyone got wet. Really wet. And miserable.

Week in Preview: Go Rockies?

The Second Basemen Report: Mark DeRosa played all three game in the series at second base and sunk the Cubs' season by swinging at ball four, which would of walked in a run. Instead he bounced into an inning-ending double play. Just like Jim Hendry drew it up.

In former second basemen news, Johnny Evers was the last second baseman to win the World Series as a Cub. He is missed.

Zam Bomb: Big Z did not seem very angry about being pulled after only 85 pitches in Game 1. Good thing he was available to able to pitch in Game 4 today. Er, wait . . .

Sweet and Sour Lou: 42% sweet, 58% sour. Lou is down 29 points on the Sweet-O-Meter this week due to being quickly ushered out of the playoffs. And like your real crazy drunk uncle, Lou could give a rat's ass if you think it's his fault your trout farm business went belly up. Lou gave you the best advice he could but it's not his fault you hired your selfish brother-in-law to keep the books and your dim-witted cousin to be in charge of inventory. He knew you probably weren't ready for the big time, but he did the best he could. Next time ask Lou to do the hiring and firing from the very start.

Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by the The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that Stephen Drew is a better value than Alfonso Soriano.

Over/Under: The number of Cub fans that should be happy with a team that made it to the playoffs but lost in the first round: +/- none of them.

Cubs Fans Theme Song: "We warned you."

We warned you in video, too.

The Cubs Answer Men: God's will and the Tribune's bill.

The Cub Factor: Catch up with them all.

Mount Lou: Mount Lou is currently at level Orange as second-guessing anger keeps Lou on edge. Even after a choreographed lava spurt in Game 3, Lou could not suppress inner team pressure. Expect Lou to spit enough magma over the next six months to alter the terrain more to his liking and in time for next volcanic season.