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The College Football Report: Bologna On Your Underdog With A Side Of Schwetty's Balls

Western Kentucky head coach Willie Taggart took exception to the Vegas line which opened with the Hilltoppers as 37-point underdogs against #1 Alabama and has since risen to 39, calling the spread "a bunch of bologna."

Taggart went on to say that WKU is going to play to win, not to "lose by 39 points."

Coach, some people would really prefer that you lost by 40 points or more, while others are hoping you only lose by 38.5 points or less. See what you can do.

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Taggart has some past history against long odds - he was at the helm at Stanford when the Cardinal, a 41-point "dog," beat Southern Cal in 2007.

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Taggart was also a big underdog in 1984 when he helped kick Victor Maitland's ass.

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In related news, the 'Toppers have switched starting kickers and will now go with freshman Garrett Schwettman, who is leading the pack in the annual College Football Report Funny Name poll. You can follow "Schwetty" here on Twitter and see his high school highlights here. Spoiler alert: there's a lot of footage of extra points.

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Also, no relation.

Mom Disapproves Of Your Language And Your Play-Calling
Florida offensive coordinator Brent Pease offered a mea culpa this week for using foul language during Florida's season opener.

Pease was caught on camera dropping F-bombs during several rants against his offense on the sidelines, which struggled to put away Bowling Green in a 27-14 snoozer.

Momma Pease did not approve, telling her son to be careful and watch his potty mouth.

The CFR can't confirm at press time but Ms. Pease supposedly wasn't too fond of the play-calling either, as Florida ran 42 rushing plays and made only 21 pass attempts.

The Gator fan base, long accustomed to a blood-thirsty air attack since the days of the 'Ol Ball Coach, may take a while to warm up to the team's new ball-control offense.

But with a starting sophomore QB with just 50 career pass attempts, we can't fault the logic.

They Were Penn State Update
Reports out of State College put Penn State's costs for "legal fees, consultants and public relations firms" related to the Jerry Sandusky child abuse case at $17 million.

For reference, Penn State allocated $50.6 million toward student aid in the 2011-12 total operating budget.

Also, the Nittany Lions lost to Ohio University (note: not the same thing as The Ohio State University) in the season opener, Penn State's first loss to open a season since 2001.

D-III QB Breaks NCAA Passing Record
Sam Durley of the Eureka (IL) Red Devils threw for 2,208 feet in a 62-55 win over the Knox College (IL) Prairie Fire on Saturday.

Durley's record-breaking feat made up nearly all of the 2,463 feet of total offense by the Devils, which set another record for total team offense.

We like reporting on yardage records in feet. Doesn't that sound much more impressive than 736 yards? The kid threw for nearly half a mile. That is far.

Kentucky Defense Goes From Bad To Outright Terrible
The defensive unit for the Kentucky Wildcats lost six starters, including star linebacker Danny Trevathan, a sixth-round pick by the Broncos in the 2012 draft. Little wonder that the 'Cats expected a tough season in the SEC, but last Saturday's performance was ominous.

UK allowed 219 rushing yards and touchdown drives of 99, 93 and 85 yards in the first half against intrastate rival Louisville. The 13.5 line looked mighty tasty and The College Football Report highly recommends taking (for entertainment purposes only) every SEC opponent UK faces this season.

The College Football Report Free-Range Chicken Feed
The Free-Range Chicken is on record with his first picks of the season. After studying his giant bingo board and carefully weighing his corn kernel options, the Chicken settled on the following games. He would have made more picks, but we had to bring him inside before he drowned in the rain. (Home teams in caps.)

KANSAS STATE (-6.5) over Miami
Washington (+24) over LSU
Purdue (+14) over NOTRE DAME

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Mike Luce is our man on college football. He welcomes your comments.

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