Sports

The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report

By Eric Emery

What the Bears have in common with Forrest Gump.

Jenny to Forrest: Listen, you promise me something, OK? Just if you're ever in trouble, don't be brave. You just run, OK? Just run away.

Lovie to Kyle: Listen, promise me something . . .

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Lt. Dan: I am living off the government tit! Sucking it dry!

Brian Urlacher: I am living off my contract! Sucking it dry!

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Forrest: Mama always had a way of explaining things so I could understand them.

Bob Babich to defensive unit: Let me explain the fundamentals of the pass rush one more time.

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Mama Gump: Life's a box of chocolates, Forrest. You never know what you're gonna get.

Jerry Angelo: The NFL draft is like a box of chocolates, folks. You never know what you're gonna get.

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Forrest: Stupid is as stupid does.

Brian Urlacher: It's the media's fault.

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Forrest: I had run for 3 years, 2 months, 14 days, and 16 hours. [he stops and turns around]

Young Man Running: Quiet, quiet! He's gonna say something!

Forrest: [pause] I'm pretty tired . . . I think I'll go home now.

Devin Hester: I'm tired of being ridiculous.

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Bears at Rams
Storyline: Lovie Smith and Bob Babich obtain a boat so they can fish for shrimp. Brian Urlacher yells obscenities about not finding shrimp. Lance Briggs crashes shrimp boat, paddles away in life raft.

Reality: Unlike the movie, the shrimp cannot be harvested any longer, due to sticking with the same fishing areas and dead zones in the Gulf of Tampa Two.

Prediction: St. Louis Plus 8.5 Points, Under 43 Points Scored

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Sugar in the Blue & Orange Kool-Aid: 50%
Recommended sugar in the Blue & Orange Kool-Aid: 35%

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Last week's picks: 5-1
For the season: 29-19-4

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Over/Under: Due to an advance scouting trip, there will be no Over/Under this week.

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Fantasy Fix: Does Giselle know?

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Eric Emery grew up in small-town Illinois but has an irrational love of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Every week he writes The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report and Over/Under. You can send him love letters and hate mail and he will respond graciously.

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