Beachwood Sports ArchiveA monthly look back
Beachwood Sports VideoPlease Stop Believing 99 Years of Cub Losses The 1908 Song Blame It On Bartman We Can't Wait 100 Years Dusty Must Get Fired
Search The Beachwood Reporter
Subscribe to the Newsletter
Last weekend I traveled to Madison, Wisconsin to experience the Green & Gold Kool-Aid. It's not quite the same as the Blue & Orange. Let's break it down:
Blue & Orange: The occasional black belt with brown shirt.
Green & Gold: Man with frosted tips. Different man with mullet.
Advantage: Blue & Orange. Fashion errors less ostentatious. Plus, a real Bears fan doesn't look at another fan's belt.
Blue & Orange: Not usually. We're too busy keeping our hands on our wallets
Green & Gold: Often. Mostly after executing a 3rd-and-short.
Advantage: Blue & Orange. It's good to have money in the wallet.
Blue & Orange: Like voting; early and often.
Green & Gold: Like brushing teeth; no more than three times a day.
Advantage: Blue & Orange. Lower self-esteem results in sharper insults to the opposition.
Blue & Orange: Unless you wear at least two types of Bears gear, expect none.
Green & Gold: Lady wished me "Good luck to the Steelers" as she left.
Advantage: Blue & Orange. Everybody knows there is no well-wishing in football.
In-Bar Public Announcements
Blue & Orange: None. Fans are smart enough to watch TVs to track team's (lack of) progress.
Green & Gold: Regular public announcements for each Packers' first down. Maybe this is about a drinking game nobody clued me into.
Advantage: Blue & Orange pending further information about possible drinking game.
Blue & Orange: None. Watching the Bears is supposed to be your reward.
Green & Gold: After every Packer score. So you need extra incentive to watch your team score?
Advantage: Blue & Orange. Watching your team succeed is intrinsically rewarding. Oh, who am I kidding. Advantage, Green & Gold.
Blue & Orange: Only during exciting plays. Which is to say, on Bears kick returns and blitzes.
Green & Gold: At a constant roar.
Advantage: Push. Who can blame them when they're 4-0?
Analysis: The Green & Gold Kool-Aid tastes great. The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid is less filling.
Chicago at Green Bay
"If you drive to Soldier Field, they make you pay a toll
For cripes sake, they only won one lousy Super Bowl"
- "The Bears Still Suck"
Pick: Green Bay Minus 3.5 Points, Over 40.5 Points Scored
Sugar in the Blue & Orange Kool-Aid: 15%
Recommended sugar in the Blue & Orange Kool-Aid: 7.5%
-More from Beachwood Sports »
Don't pity the White Sox.Continue reading "Coin Is The Lord Of The Realm" »
Posted on Jul 15, 2019