Sports

The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report

By Eric Emery

I've heard commentators describe the pre-season this year as "a dress rehearsal for the regular season" so many times that I thought I was watching a high school play. And then I figured it out: Even our football analysts have High School Musical 2 on the brain.

And now, so do I.

Let's do a little casting.

*
Performer: Lovie Smith
HSM2 Role: Ryan Evans
Pro: Used to dealing with drama queens.
Con: Weak improvisational skills.

*

Performer: Jerry Angelo
HSM2 Role: Sharpay Evans
Pro: Owning a prestigious country club like running a football team.
Con: High school kids more mature than pro athletes.

*

Performer: Rex Grossman
HSM2 Role: Troy Bolton
Pro: Able to pass as star athlete at this level.
Con: Playing lead love interest a stretch; even high school girls know Sexy Rexy pulls out from center too soon.

*

Performer: Devin Hester
HSM2 Role: Gabriella Montez
Pro: First in Troy's heart is true to life.
Con: Can special teams guy cut it when he's grouped with the jocks ?

-

Sugar in the Blue and Orange Kool-Aid: 80%
Recommended Sugar in the Blue and Orange Kool-Aid: 50%

-

For more Emery, see the Kool-Aid archive, and the Over/Under archive. Emery accepts comments from Bears fans reluctantly and everyone else tolerably.

More from Beachwood Sports »