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The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report

I will cut to the chase - Bear fans have not fully realized their offense stinks.

I waited to write this until after the final preseason game, in the hopes something of note would happen. Thankfully, the Chicago papers beat "the first TD" into the ground, as if Blessed Mother showed herself on a Halas Hall window. Furthermore, two plays caused Bear fans to check their fantasy football free agency wire, as Desmond Clark caught a TD plus had a fairly impressive 25-yard reception.

Most glossed over the offense's inept preseason performance, though Rick Telander literally dedicated almost an entire column to asking disturbing, stubborn questions. Mike Mulligan put forth the weakest cheerleading argument in a piece headlined "Bears In Relatively Good Shape." Mulligan noted the Bears first team scored 16 points in its 18 possessions. A good sign? Let's let the numbers do the talking.

The Bears first team ran 90 plays. On average, a team runs 64 plays a game. So the first team ran 1.40 games worth of plays this preseason. That measures out to 11.4 points a game (16 points/1.40). Is that really relatively good shape?

Not only that, but The Touchdown began 20 yards away from the end zone. Also:

* The Bears offense holds sub-par talent in other positions. Don Pierson rightfully calls the Bears to task for having little talent at WR. One sports radio commentator defended Rex Grossman by pointing to four drops; others focused specifically on the drop by WR Airese Currie in the end zone that left the Bears with a field goal instead of a touchdown. Conclusion? "Our offense will be better when the WRs start catching the ball."

Well, it would be better, but who says that's going to happen? That's like saying the Cubs rotation will be better once Kerry Wood and Mark Prior get healthy. These are the Bears wide receivers, and they tend to drop balls. That's not going to change just because you want it to. It's happening for a reason. They. Stink.

* The running game looked pitiful and the Bears need it to succeed, even more than a healthy Grossman. This was lost in the hullaballoo over the pilot of Everybody Hates Benson.

* The average Bears fan, from what I can tell, still believes in the Bears. That is not quite right; they believe in the Bears' schedule. The Bears will go 8-8. Sure, the Bears could go 8-8 and still win the North, but that's nothing to be excited about.

Besides, the Bears will indeed go 8-8, but they will miss the playoffs. At the end of the season, Bear fans will realize they lost a game they won last year - a game that should be won this year but won't be. The road game against the Packers.

Sugar in the Blue & Orange Kool-Aid: 60%
Recommended sugar in the Blue & Orange Kool-Aid: 40%

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