Sports

The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report

By Eric Emery

Last Sunday, the stars aligned perfectly. My son and wife went elsewhere and the Steelers enjoyed their bye week. Add both together and you get the coveted Power Bye Week Nap. The problem: I slept through most of the Bears game. Luckily, my subconscious picked up the slack and followed the game in my dreams:

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Dream: Bears offensive coordinator Ron Turner sat quietly in a cage.

Meaning: Bears could not make right choices to convert red zone visits into TDs.

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Dream: Lovie Smith failed an easy math quiz.

Meaning: When you have the elite #6, you should have at least that many wins by this point.

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Dream: Devin Hester is being chased.

Meaning: Maybe Hester isn't quite as fast as he used to be.

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Dream: Brian Urlacher is sitting naked on my couch.

Meaning: Brian Urlacher is sitting naked on his couch.

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Dream: The Bears team bus falls off a cliff.

Meaning: With a loss to the Cardinals this week, it's time to start the "Fire Lovie" watch.

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Cardinals at Bears

Storyline: Remember when offensive genius Mike Martz almost became the Bears head coach? Remember when the Bears could have signed the now Cardinals QB Kurt Warner? Well, the Bears didn't, and outside of a tenuous Super Bowl appearance, they've lurked around .500. Ooops.

Reality: Bears fans turn on Lovie for good.

Prediction: Cardinals Plus 3 Points, Over 44.5 Points Scored

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Record: 5-5

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Sugar in the Blue and Orange Kool-Aid: 65%
Recommended sugar in the Blue and Orange Kool-Aid: 40%

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For more Emery, please see the Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report archives and the Over/Under collection. He welcomes your comments.

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