Subscribe to the Newsletter

The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report: The Most Important Game Of The Year

New Trick, Old Dog
I haven't decided whether to give Lovie Smith and his staff credit for playing to win by running one of the best special teams trick plays in recent memory or to lambast them for putting it on tape in a game that was basically out of reach. Since it got called back, we can't give it a cool nickname like the Homer in the Gloamin' or the Dirty Bay Reacharound, so we'll have to settle on the Windy City Nothing.

The Streets Will Run Red With Riveras of Bad Blood
How bad was the taste in Ron Rivera's mouth after being shown the door a year after leading a championship caliber defense?

Spoonful of earwax bad.

Seriously, next time you pull your car keys out of your ears (you know you do it), give those things a whiff.

Expect Cam Newton to heave the ball in the direction of that guy with the no-name name that the Bears decided to single-cover in the '05 playoffs a couple (read: 15) times. And then expect Rivera to have it heaved his way a couple more just to make a point.

Speaking of guys we've met . . .

Ain't Nothin' But A G (Reg) Thing
Six catches for 80 yards and while he's laughing at these guys, a second TD in their eyes.

In their eyes?

That's right, in their eyes.

This is what ol' blondie looks like with a legitimate wide receiver drawing larger corners.

It's Spelled Sanzen . . . uh, wait I know this . . . ba . . . h . . . v . . . kar? 'F' It. It's Dane. His Name Is Dane.
If this guy is still available in your fantasy league (he's out there in 99.99 of the leagues on, gobble him up!

Kool-Aid (3 out of 5 Samples of Jungle Cat Urine)
The most important game of the season is Sunday*. If the Bears are to remain respectable for a couple more weeks (just setting expectations here, we ain't going 5-1 in the North this year), they have to win.

How did this happen two years in a row?

Unfortunately, this is the game DeAngelo Williams breaks out. Newton can be had, but the surprisingly bad Bears run defense has been hiding behind the crap play of the offense up to this point.

Carolina 24, Bears 20

*I'll just cut that line and paste it in the next six columns . . .


Comments welcome.

More from Beachwood Sports »

College Admission Scandal Grew Out Of A System Already Rigged With 'Side Doors'

Those ensnared in the current criminal case - which alleges that they paid for their children to get spots on the sports teams of big-name schools - couldn't have succeeded if the college admissions process wasn't already biased toward wealthier families.

Continue reading "College Admission Scandal Grew Out Of A System Already Rigged With 'Side Doors'" »

Posted on Mar 15, 2019

Breaking Beachwood Sports Feed!