Chicago - Mar. 17, 2010
Music TV Politics Sports Books People Places & Things
 
Beachwood Sports Archive
A monthly look back.
Beachwood Sports Video
Please Stop Believin'
99 Years of Cub Losses
The 1908 Song
Blame It On Bartman
We Can't Wait 100 Years
Dusty Must Get Fired
Beachwood Sports Audio
100 Seasons in the Sun
Eddie Elia
We Can't Wait 100 Years
Let's Call The Crosstown Off!
Louuuuu!
Ode to Ozzie
Dusty Must Get Fired
The 12 Days of Cubness
The Hester Man Can!
I'm Sammy
Calendar Bears

Beachwood Sports Links
Negro Leagues
Hanson Brothers
Onion Sports
Boise State Football
ESPN Baseball
Live Odds
Moe's Tavern
North Dallas Forty
Semi-Tough
Hoops High

Beachwood Sports Blogroll
Bleed Cubbie Blue
South Side Sox
Fire Joe Morgan
The 35th Street Review
Mark DeRosa's The Pulse
Swings Both Ways
RosenBlog
Top Ten Chicago Sports
Foul Balls
Awful Announcing
The Fantasy Factor
Grochowski
Baseball Think Factory
Bats
Cool Standings
Lester Munson
Daily Racing Form
Cubs Trade Rumors
White Sox Trade Rumors

T-Ball Journal
Big game, tiny players.

The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report

By Eric Emery

In past few weeks, more than one friend has said to me, "It must be fun writing the Kool-Aid Report this year."

Actually, it's not that much fun.

It's more fun when the Bears get dominated in a Super Bowl or they crap themselves in Week 17 and miss the playoffs. It doesn't feel rewarding to make fun of a team this close to hitting rock bottom.

And if the Bears lose to the Rams this week, rock bottom will be reached. Even I don't think the Bears are that bad. But even if they beat the Rams keep your eyes out for these other signs that rock bottom has been found.

* The Detroit Lions send the Bears a "Get Well Soon" card.

* Obama sends 30,000 troops to Soldier Field to help the Bears out.

* The Bears hire Elin Nordegren to pull a Jeff Gilloly on the opposing team's quarterback.

* Mayor Daley repurposes Meigs Field bulldozers to raze Soldier Field to make way for a casino.

* Chicago loses the Bears to Rio.

* Chicago Cubs ownership provides some unsolicited advice, stating "The secret is to be lovable when you lose."

* Halas Hall renamed "Willis Hall."

-

Rams at Bears
Storyline: Sure, the Bears stink, but do they really stink bad enough to lose the Rams?

Reality: Yes, the Bears stink that bad.

Prediction: Chicago Minus 9 Points, Under 41 Points Scored

-

Record: 9-5

-

Sugar in the Blue and Orange Kool-Aid: 10%
Recommended sugar in the Blue and Orange Kool-Aid: <1%

-

For more Emery, please see the Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report archives and the Over/Under collection. He welcomes your comments.



Permalink

Posted on December 4, 2009


MUSIC - Playlist: Like A Cloud.
TV - 24 Hours With The DIY Network.
POLITICS - Grading Daley.
SPORTS - What Alexei Ramirez and Aramis Ramirez have in common. In Fantasy Fix.

BOOKS - The Moral Underground.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Jobs For The Zombie Apocalypse.

Search
The Beachwood Reporter





Subscribe to the Newsletter
Email:


Flying Saucer Restaurant