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Players aren't going to wear masks and only fans in Red America are stupid enough to attend games anyway. Plus: Michael Jordan Was Singularly Awesome And Also Was (And Remains) A Terrible Person - Just Like Jerry Krause (Though Krause Is Dead Now So He's Only A 'Was' Not A 'Remains'); Time For Wrigleyville To Panic Over Cubs' Bad Start?; The Great Karnak's New Bulls; Our Hapless Athletic Careers; Bears To Sit Out First, Third And Fourth Rounds Of Draft, and more!
* Coffman: "Three-hondo!"
:45: Q Life.
* Not exactly quarantined, but definitely staying at home.
2:54: Coach Coffman's Hapless Athletic Career.
* Three hits in three years.
* Elbow screw.
16:38: Steve's Shining Moment.
* Game-winning goal of co-ed rec league championship with about 15 seconds left on the clock. With a quite deft maneuver!
* Another thrill: Jumping over the boards at the old Williams Arena for my first shift of men's intramural ice hockey at the University of Minnesota - the same place where the actual Gophers played.
* Story not told: One game I took a slap shot straight to the forehead of my helmet that was struck with such force - combined with what little balance I had on skates - that it knocked me over. Everybody stopped play and started to skate over to see if I was alright but, lying flat on my back, I yelled, "Play on!" I was fine, just bad at ice hockey.
* Rutter: "Sports franchise owners and operators - from pros to colleges - particularly pose as if resumption is almost assured, but without any evidence that 'back to normal' has any meaning.
"Those gripped by the psychotic break of hallucinogenic spasms even put dates on the return. Safer to aim for Easter. Next Easter, that is.
"As for Major League Baseball, Opening Day and the Fall Classic can both occur on the same weekend. How about Halloween?"
26:52: A World Without Sports.
* "The current sports stoppage is unprecedented. It touches every level of every game, in every country in the world, from the Olympics down to pick-up basketball."
* The Spanish Flu may have originated in Kansas; almost definitely in North America.
Baseball players donned masks during the 1918 flu pandemic/George Rinhart, Corbis via Getty Images:
* Chambers: "Oaklawn, as pleasurable a track a patron can find, perseveres."
32:17: Rez Golf Amid The Pandemic.
"Rez golf is embedding itself in the Navajo sports culture, one course at a time. There are at least three rez golf courses on the nation's 27,425 square miles spanning swaths of Arizona, New Mexico and Utah. The gritty courses, set amid red and gray sands and wind-sculpted cliffs, share the landscape with livestock, coyotes and rabbits. They hold special meaning to many Navajo golfers because they wind through clumps of sagebrush, a plant thought to have physical and spiritual healing power."
"Bait shops, shooting ranges, park trails and marina services are also permitted to open or reopen."
* Coach is right: Missouri has a stay-at-home order.
38:26: Michael Jordan Was Singularly Awesome And Also Was (And Remains) A Terrible Person - Just Like Jerry Kraus.
* Golliver, Washington Post: "Practice was over, and Michael Jordan swaggered over to the sideline with a camera crew in tow.
"Chicago Bulls General Manager Jerry Krause was standing near a Gatorade cooler with medicine in hand as players and coaches milled around nearby. Jordan, handsome and cool in a Nike sweatsuit, peered down at the hefty Krause, who was wearing a blue sweater tucked into high-rise pants.
"'Are those the pills you take to keep you short?' Jordan loudly asked, rendering Krause speechless with the withering insult. 'Or are those diet pills?' Jordan walked off, chuckling at his own cruelty. The many bystanders stood in stunned silence, not laughing."
* Parkins: 'Don't we already know Jordan is a terrible person?'
* Coffman: "It's grim."
* Ofman: Jerry Krause Was Right.
* Rhodes: "Jerry Krause was a way better basketball executive than Michael Jordan."
He may have even been better than Theo Epstein.
As objectionable a person Krause was at times, too. Krause and Jordan were both objectionable people - who were both excellent at their jobs.
* The Last Dance Preview:
51:20: The Great Karnak.
* Thibs trending. (It was the Knicks, not the Nets.)
* Singer, Denver Post: How The Nuggets Paved Arturas Karnisovas' Path To The Chicago Bulls.
"'I like multi-positional players; I like guys with high basketball IQ that play off each other.'
"Karnisovas elaborated on the culture he had helped build in Denver, how he would fill out a front office that was notoriously thin and his vision for an expanded player development program. The latter point was vital because although the Bulls had drafted well in recent years, their player development, particularly involving former lottery pick Lauri Markkanen, wasn't up to NBA standards.
"'It's an iconic NBA team, and to modernize that situation would be an honor for me.'"
1:00:09: Kris Versteeg Has Retired.
* Clarification: He crashed into the Gulf of Mexico off Clearwater, not in Tampa Bay.
1:06:24: Fantasy Baseball.
* Time For Wrigleyville To Panic Over Cubs' Bad Start?
* Is Kris Bryant Still Batting Leadoff?
* Fire David Ross?
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