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The Beachwood Radio Sports Hour #291: Derrick Rose Wishes He Was A Dentist & Other Strange Stories Of The Week

By Jim Coffman and Steve Rhodes

Rich basketball player jealous of teeth-pullers. Plus: Joe Maddon Is A Liar And Clever Things To Say About The Buffalo Sabres, The Houston Asterisks, John Henry, Charles Barkley, The Chicago Bulls, The Chicago Blackhawks, Adderall & eSports; Bobby Knight; Jason Kipnis, Spring Training, PECOTA, Kenny Williams and Illinois' Basketball Nation.

SHOW NOTES

* 291.

:32: What's The Deal With The Buffalo Sabres?

"Wanting a name other than 'bison' (a generic stock name used by Buffalo sports teams for decades), the Knoxes commissioned a name-the-team contest. With names like 'Mugwumps,' 'Buzzing Bees' and 'Flying Zeppelins' being entered, the winning choice, 'Sabres,' was chosen because Seymour Knox felt a sabre, a weapon carried by a leader, could be effective on offense and defense."

2:36: Astrology.

* Jim Crane grinds Coach's gears.

* Permission to buzz the Astros' towers? "That's a negative, Ghostrider, the pattern is full."

5:26: Betts Is Off.

* John Henry vs. Jim Hendry.

* Mookie Betts vs. Jerome Betts.

8:08: Derrick Rose Wishes He Was A Dentist.

"I hate living with boundaries. It kills me when I go on vacation and I just know people are chilling there as a dentist or somebody with a regular job. They're able to live the life to just walk around freely, and I'm jealous of that, because deep down I want that, but I can't have it, so be careful for what you pray for because you'll never know how it'll turn out."

10:50: Charles Barkley Is The Funniest Man In Sports Media.

* Coach: "He's. Just. Funny."

* Listen here.

11:30: Bulls Should Be Embarrassed Hosting All-Star Game.

* Rhodes asks dumb media narrative question.

* Coach: "It's certainly a black eye for the Bulls.

* Rhodes and coach confuse hockey and basketball all-star games and trade deadlines. Tough week, folks.

* New NBA All-Star Game Format Makes Every Quarter Count.

15:19: Thank Goodness For Spring Training.

* But not Crane Kenney.

16:57: PECOTA!

* Current projections.

20:38: White Sox Report Hurt.

* Three Gs arrive banged up.

22:16: Kenny Williams Is Still A Thing.

* Morrissey: 'Has fingers on rebuild.'

* Jake Odorizzi is still a Twin.

Also: "Odorizzi attended Highland High School in Highland, Illinois, where he helped lead the Highland Bulldogs to the Illinois state championship."

26:30: The Dodgers Have Already Won The NL.

* Reds are pundits' favorites to win the Central.

27:35: Joe Maddon Is A Liar.

Joe Maddon in September: "This 'philosophical differences' crap that's been written about is not true. It's just not true."

Joe Maddon now: "There was just, you can say, philosophical differences."

Apparently the truth isn't as clear as it once was. https://t.co/rpYgU8eQGk
— Sahadev Sharma (@sahadevsharma) February 12, 2020