Subscribe to the Newsletter

The Beachwood Radio Sports Hour #291: Derrick Rose Wishes He Was A Dentist & Other Strange Stories Of The Week

Rich basketball player jealous of teeth-pullers. Plus: Joe Maddon Is A Liar And Clever Things To Say About The Buffalo Sabres, The Houston Asterisks, John Henry, Charles Barkley, The Chicago Bulls, The Chicago Blackhawks, Adderall & eSports; Bobby Knight; Jason Kipnis, Spring Training, PECOTA, Kenny Williams and Illinois' Basketball Nation.



* 291.

:32: What's The Deal With The Buffalo Sabres?

"Wanting a name other than 'bison' (a generic stock name used by Buffalo sports teams for decades), the Knoxes commissioned a name-the-team contest. With names like 'Mugwumps,' 'Buzzing Bees' and 'Flying Zeppelins' being entered, the winning choice, 'Sabres,' was chosen because Seymour Knox felt a sabre, a weapon carried by a leader, could be effective on offense and defense."

2:36: Astrology.

* Jim Crane grinds Coach's gears.

* Permission to buzz the Astros' towers? "That's a negative, Ghostrider, the pattern is full."

5:26: Betts Is Off.

* John Henry vs. Jim Hendry.

* Mookie Betts vs. Jerome Betts.

8:08: Derrick Rose Wishes He Was A Dentist.

"I hate living with boundaries. It kills me when I go on vacation and I just know people are chilling there as a dentist or somebody with a regular job. They're able to live the life to just walk around freely, and I'm jealous of that, because deep down I want that, but I can't have it, so be careful for what you pray for because you'll never know how it'll turn out."

10:50: Charles Barkley Is The Funniest Man In Sports Media.

* Coach: "He's. Just. Funny."

* Listen here.

11:30: Bulls Should Be Embarrassed Hosting All-Star Game.

* Rhodes asks dumb media narrative question.

* Coach: "It's certainly a black eye for the Bulls.

* Rhodes and coach confuse hockey and basketball all-star games and trade deadlines. Tough week, folks.

* New NBA All-Star Game Format Makes Every Quarter Count.

15:19: Thank Goodness For Spring Training.

* But not Crane Kenney.

16:57: PECOTA!

* Current projections.

20:38: White Sox Report Hurt.

* Three Gs arrive banged up.

22:16: Kenny Williams Is Still A Thing.

* Morrissey: 'Has fingers on rebuild.'

* Jake Odorizzi is still a Twin.

Also: "Odorizzi attended Highland High School in Highland, Illinois, where he helped lead the Highland Bulldogs to the Illinois state championship."

26:30: The Dodgers Have Already Won The NL.

* Reds are pundits' favorites to win the Central.

27:35: Joe Maddon Is A Liar.

28:55: Interlude: Jason Kipnis, The XFL, Bobby Knight & Adderalled eSports.

32:36: Blackhawks Back To Bust.

* Where have you gone, Alex DeBrincat? A cold city turns its eyes to you

33:48: Basketball Nation Illinois.

* Arrows up: DePaul Women, Northwestern Women

* Arrows down: Illini Men, DePaul Men, Loyola Men, Northwestern Men

* Phoenix: Loyola Women's Basketball 'Starting From Scratch' After Rough January.


For archives and other Beachwood shows, see The Beachwood Radio Network.


Comments welcome.

More from Beachwood Sports »

The NFL's COVID Warning For Baseball

The NFL's decision to allow fans at games enabled us to examine the potential influence that large sports events can have on local viral transmission. Although we could not definitively assess cause and effect, the results were striking.

Continue reading "The NFL's COVID Warning For Baseball" »

Posted on Apr 7, 2021

The White Sox Report

The Yerminator Has Landed

From the Pecos League to the record books.

Continue reading "The Yerminator Has Landed" »

Posted on Apr 5, 2021