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Even Kids Can't Take It

I took my 4-year-old son to his first Cub game on Sunday and I have to admit I got a little nostalgic. I remember going to the games with my dad and brothers through the years and hoped to make some memories of my own. And really, isn't that why we are all here?

I mean, you aren't reading this unless you are tied in to the Cubs or baseball in some way, and typically that's through your parents, and that is even more typically your dad. So, the "history in the making" moment was all right there. And history was made. I took my son to his first game, that was part of the history, the other part was that it was my shortest game ever.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't think my 4-year-old was going to hang in there to sing that silly "Go Cubs Go" song, but I didn't think it would be five batters into the game before he said, "Dad, I want to go home."

I have to say I was a bit disappointed those words came so early, but part of me couldn't blame him. When you don't understand all the rules of baseball, it's a little hard to watch.

And then, we were pretty far away, so even seeing the ball when hit would be a challenge. And things to do for kids at Wrigley field are non-existent.

So, a box of popcorn and a water took us a few innings further into the game. And let me tell you, you think you get ripped off for beer over there, popcorn and bottled water is no picnic either.

And the patience needed to let a 4-year-old place the water bottle back into the seat drink holder is frightening. It's not only that you would have to shell out another four bucks or whatever for a new one, it's that you have to lug a 4-year-old and everything that comes with him down to get one again. It's not like going to Wrigley with your buddies.

But that's the Old Ballgame for you. You change around it and it pretty much stays the same. We hung in there for a little while longer, did some walking around but the kid was done, and so was his dad. And what's the fun in keeping a 4-year-old somewhere he doesn't want to be?

I almost played the ice cream card, but even a 4-year-old brain can put things together and say, "No, I want to go to a different place for ice cream, daddy." Again, who can blame him.

To give him a little bit of an out - we did get there a bit too early (who knew there would be no traffic) so if we got there right at game time it would have been a bit more respectable of a showing, but it's the 2012 Cubs, and they are nowhere near respectable.

But all in all it was a good day; I spent a big chuck of my Sunday with a great kid who told me to listen to the birds on the walk down Clark Street both to and from the game. It was an experience backdropped by baseball despite the game not mattering whatsoever. But wait, isn't that the problem with Cub fans? What did I just do?

Week in Review: The Cubs took two of three from both the Astros and Pirates, which would have been great if this was April.

Week in Preview: The Cubs have one more with the Pirates before welcoming Dusty Baker's first-place Reds into town for three. Then the Cards come to town for the weekend. Good seats I am sure are still available.

The Second Basemen Report: Darwin Barney started every game this week at second and finally had the real breakout week that will make everyone think he is serviceable at second. He had 10 hits and five walks. Which would have been great if it was April, just like the ghost of Jim Hendry didn't plan it.

In former second basemen news, Augie Ojeda's whereabouts are unknown, but he is missed. was last released by the Cubs in spring training 2011. His whereabouts are unknown, but he is missed.

The Not So Hot Corner: Luis Valbuena continues to get time at third base as if he matters. Which raises the question: Does Dale Svuem talk to Theo and the boys? They can't, right?

Weekly Bunting Report: I don't recall any particular bunts this week, but I do have a question. Will the Cubs have that bunting competition again this spring training? I mean, how'd that work out for them?

Endorsement No-Brainer: About 80% of this roster for those milk cartons that have missing people on them.

Ameritrade Stock Pick of the Week: Shares of 100 Losses traded lower this week.

Sink or Sveum: 20% Analytical, 80% Emotional. Dale stands pat on the Dale-O-Meter as he's just playing out the string as spoiler to the Pirates. On a scale of Bat Sh#t Crazy, (Charles Manson), Not All There, (random guy with a neck tattoo), Thinking Clearly (Jordi LaForge), and Non-Emotional Robot (Data), Dale is Bat Sh#t Crazy for taking this job.

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And just like your thought-to-be level-headed uncle, Dale knows that he and Uncle Carl have no chance to beat you and your cousin Patrick in the three-legged race, but if they get in your way so Uncle Tim and Aunt Shirley win it's fine with Dale.

Over/Under: The number of innings a 4-year-old should be expected to pay attention to this Cubs season: +/- 2.5.

Don't Hassle LaHoffpauir: There are probably a bunch of Japanese fans wondering why Micah is still getting playing time over some youngsters. What a hassle.

Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that I've never been more content to leave a game early.

The Cub Factor: Unlike Alfonso Soriano, you can catch 'em all!

The White Sox Report: Know the enemy.


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