Sports

Super Bowl Shuffling

By Rick Kaempfer

I'm the man in the middle, Brian Urlacher,
Distracted by nothing, except big knockers,
When I'm not bringing, the running back down,
I'm planting my seed, all over the town,
After one of my hits, my foes are dizzy,
Paternity suits, tend to keep me busy,
Sign non-disclosures to keep 'em muffled,
While I am doing the Super Bowl Shuffle

Rex Grossman here, and I'm number 8,
I'm the QB that you love to hate,
Good Rex, Bad Rex, who will show?
Quarterback rating of double O.
Complete more passes than it seems
They just get caught by the other teams,
Won't hear your boos, my ears are muffled,
Still learning the steps of the Super Bowl Shuffle

I'm Olin Kreutz, and I'll tell you what,
I don't like Rex always touching my butt,
Smashmouth football is my game,
But that is not my claim to fame,
I'm tough, high strung, and a little strange,
Punched a teammate's mouth at the shooting range,
But this year I'm not in much trouble,
Cause I've been doin' the Super Bowl shuffle

Number 99, they call me Tank,
There are so many people, I need to thank,
My teammates, help me stop the run,
My babies, playin' wit' a loaded gun,
From the Ice Bar shootin' ingrate,
To the judge, who's lettin' me leave the state,
The FBI won't get me ruffled,
Cause I'm still doin' the Super Bowl Shuffle