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Spoiler Alert

The Cubs are the worst team in baseball.

Sure, the Orioles and Astros have fewer wins. They also have - or at least had right up to the trade deadline on Sunday - players that playoff teams coveted.

The Astros dealt Hunter Pence and Jason Bourne and the Orioles moved Koji Uehara and even ex-Cub Derrick Lee.

The Cubs gave away Kosuke Fukudome to the Indians to make room for Tyler Colvin and otherwise stood pat.

See what I mean?

That's not to say the Cubs didn't have any players that drew interest from contenders, but the fact that bad contracts and/or Jim Hendry's delusions shut down trade talks before they even got started just proves the point.

"Between no-trade clauses, contracts that acted like no-trade clauses and low-energy under-performance from so many guys on this roster, the Cubs headed for the auction stand with almost nothing they could sell, other than Kosuke Fukudome," ESPN's Jayson Stark writes. "And once Fukudome was gone, that's exactly what they did get moved:

"Nothing.

"'Now that,' said one scout, 'is a deadline loser if I ever saw one.'"

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Week in Review: The Cubs went 1-5, getting swept by the Brewers and losing two of three to the Cardinals. Whoever has the most games against the Cubs left will probably win the division.

The Week in Preview: The Cubs travel to Pittsburgh for four and then come home for three against the Reds. Whoever has the most games against the Cubs left will probably win the division.

The Second Basemen Report: Darwin Barney continues to get the keys to the second-base job. Darwin had four hits, one walk, and zero RBIs for the week. He also has just one homer for the season, which is just one homer more than I have this season. Just like Jim Hendry drew it up.

In former second basemen news, Manny Alexander is out of baseball now, but he did play in Italy for a few years. He is missed.

The Zam Bomb: Big Z is getting angry this week thinking about the changes he thinks this team needs.

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Marlon Byrd Supplemental Report: Conte has been injecting Marlon with a little bit of Tracy.

Lost in Translation: Fukudome is Japanese for Abner Abreu.

Endorsement No-Brainer: Jim Hendry for Let's Not Make A Deal.

Sweet and Sour Quade: 88% sweet,12% sour. Mike stands pat this week as even losing can't really get him off his game. And just like your thought-to-be well-adjusted uncle, Mike still goes to church every week and prays for aunt Trudi to come home so they can be together again even though it's been three years and she's engaged to Ronnie who owns the hardware store in town. It's just not going to happen.

Ameritrade Stock Pick of the Week: Shares of TC (Tyler Colvin) were expected to trade higher this week but they didn't. No one really believes in this stock

Over/Under: Number of homers for Tyler Colvin the rest of the season: +/- 4.5.

Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that even Jim Hendry can't believe he hasn't been fired.

Farm Report: Abner Abreu is 1-for-8 with two strikeouts so far for Daytona. He is projected to arrive in the major leagues about the same time the national debt is paid off.

The Cub Factor: Unlike Soriano, you can catch 'em all!

The White Sox Report: Know the enemy.

Get Your Gangler On: Follow Marty on Twitter.

Mike Quade Status Update:

Well-Adjusted / Delirious / High

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