The Beachwood Reporter : Sports

SWINGS BOTH WAYS

A blog from a fan of both sides of Chicago baseball.

LATEST: Peavy vs. Buehrle (And Ozzie)

Beachwood Sports Archive

Beachwood Sports Video

Please Stop Believin' 99 Years of Cub Losses The 1908 Song Blame It On Bartman We Can't Wait 100 Years Dusty Must Get Fired

Beachwood Sports Audio

100 Seasons in the Sun Eddie Elia We Can't Wait 100 Years Let's Call The Crosstown Off! Louuuuu! Ode to Ozzie Dusty Must Get Fired The 12 Days of Cubness The Hester Man Can! I'm Sammy Calendar Bears

Search The Beachwood Reporter

Over/Under: Obama Olympic Edition

By Eric Emery

This week, President Obama traveled to Copenhagen to make a final Olympic plea. Who knows, maybe Obama can convince the voters to allow us to incur a needless and massive public debt. Obama might be that powerful. On the way home, perhaps Obama should stop at the following 0-3 football cities to solve their problems as well.

Charlotte: City in trouble after reports that the ongoing informational series called My Child Has WHAT? found to be more popular than the Panthers.

St. Louis: After buying Anheuser Busch, global beverage giant InBev offers St. Louis Rams management a six-pack of Stella Artois if they throw in the Rams. Obama to lobby Congress for $1.2 billion bailout counteroffer.

Miami: Obama announces ex-Dolphins fullback and Hall of Fame player Larry Csonka as the "Czar of Winning" for the city of Miami.

Cleveland: Obama to play Cleveland Cavaliers superstar LeBron James to one-on-one game. If he loses, James reassigned to play quarterback for the Browns.

Nashville: Following Franklin Delano Roosevelt's example, Obama pushes for the "Tennessee Valley Authority Part II: The Search for a Win."

Kansas City: Due to the poor play of the Chiefs and Royals, Obama quietly asks France to buy Kansas City back.

OverHyped Game of the Week: Packers at Vikings

Storyline: Favre Green Bay, Favre Jets, Favre retired, Favre Vikings, Favre cured cancer.

Reality: Not since Bush-Cheney have two leaders done more to mess up the talent and goodwill they have, and find a way to lose when it counts.

Prediction: Packers Plus 3.5 Points, Over 45.5 Points Scored

UnderHyped Game of the Week: Jets at Saints

Storyline: Both teams have a history of stinking. Both teams are 3-0. I guess this gives hope to all those other historically bad teams. We're talking to you Chicago Cubs.

Reality: I think Milton Bradley plays on the Saints defense, because the Saints hate to hit.

Prediction: Saints Minus 7 Points, Over 45 Points Scored

Record: 2-6

For more Emery, please see the Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report archives and the Over/Under collection. He welcomes your comments.