Sports

Over/Under

By Eric Emery

Let's take a look back at my pre-season predictions and see how I did - complete with excuses. And we'll take a look at the post-season.

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Team: Jacksonville
Line: 10 wins
Prediction: Over
Result: 5 wins
Excuse: I thought Jacksonville would genetically engineer jaguar/human hybrids to win games.

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Team: San Francisco
Line: 6 wins
Prediction: Over
Result: 7 Wins
Why I'm smart: I always knew Mike Singletary's habit of dropping his pants would pay off someday.

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Team: Seattle
Line: 8.5 wins
Prediction: Under
Result: 4 Wins
Why I'm smart: I guessed correctly that Mike Holmgren would elect to let the other team score on purpose at least once per game as part of his retirement tour.

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Team: Atlanta
Line: 4.5 wins
Prediction: Under
Result: 11 Wins
Excuse: I didn't know that Matt Ryan was one of Joe Namath's long-lost children.

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Team: New England
Line: 12 wins
Prediction: Over
Result: 11 Wins
Excuse: Giselle Bundchen.

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Team: Detroit
Line: 6.5 wins
Prediction: Under
Result: 0 Wins
Why I'm smart: I didn't overthink this one.

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Team: Green Bay
Line: 8.5 wins
Prediction: Over
Result: 6 Wins
Excuse: With Favre, Packers would have choked away just the last four games instead of the whole season.

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Team: Minnesota
Line: 8.5 wins
Prediction: Over
Result: 10 Wins
Why I'm smart: The Vikings are due to go to a Super Bowl and lose.

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Team: Your Chicago Bears
Line: 8 wins
Prediction: Way Under
Result: 9 Wins
Excuse: I doubted that the Bears could beat the Lions twice in one year.

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Team: My Pittsburgh Steelers
Line: 9 wins
Prediction: Barely Over
Result: 12 Wins
Why I'm smart: I knew players would continue to avoid flus and colds previously transmitted by Bill Cowher's spit.

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Result: 5-5

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Falcons at Cardinals
Storyline: Wow! That Atlanta QB is young! Wow! That Arizona QB is old! Wow! Arizona is really in the playoffs?

Reality: Wow! That Arizona QB is a big fan of God! You will notice that a bunch after the game.

Prediction: Arizona Plus 2.5 Points, Over 51 Points Scored

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Colts at Chargers
Storyline: Quiet and composed Tony Dungy leads a talented team. Quiet and incompetent Norv Turner leads a talented team that wins despite him.

Reality: Even Norv Turner understands that you have to give LT the ball. Unfortunately, he will remember the mantra after the game when he reads "Give LT the ball" off of his left palm.

Prediction: Indianapolis Plus 1, Under 51 Points

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Ravens at Dolphins
Storyline: Joe Flacco sounds more like a soldier in the Chicago Outfit than a legitimate NFL QB.

Reality: This game will be as exciting as a "Win A Date With Joe Flacco" contest. I don't know the guy, but anybody named Joe Flacco probably has an interesting story about getting a flat tire.

Prediction: Baltimore Minus 3, Under 37.5 Points Scored

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Eagles at Vikings
Storyline: The notoriously obnoxious Philly fans lose ability to hate after meeting the genteel Vikings crowd.

Reality: Viking fans inherit the anger from the Philly fans and they boo Santa Claus, the Vikings team, Fran Tarkenton, and that fat guy dressed like a Viking.

Prediction: Philadelphia Minus 2.5 Points, Under 43.5 Points Scored

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Last week's picks: 0-2
For the season: 35-27-6

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The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report: Going down the Bears' memory hole.

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Fantasy Fix: Next year's draft already shaping up.

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Eric Emery grew up in small-town Illinois but has an irrational love of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Every week he writes The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report and Over/Under. You can send him love letters and hate mail and he will respond graciously.

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