Beachwood Sports ArchiveA monthly look back
Beachwood Sports VideoPlease Stop Believing 99 Years of Cub Losses The 1908 Song Blame It On Bartman We Can't Wait 100 Years Dusty Must Get Fired
Search The Beachwood Reporter
Subscribe to the Newsletter
"And now, from the man who blew up the Bartman Ball, roped the FBI into the investigation of a missing Stanley Cup puck and X-rayed baseballs to see if a decades-old World Series was rigged: Grant DePorter, CEO of Harry Caray's Restaurant Group, brings you the Chicago Sports Museum," the Sun-Times reports.
Yada yada yada.
Planning for The Beachwood Sports Museum of Chicago is now underway. Exhibits and items to include:
* The Wrigley Field rooftop contract under glass.
* Our own private label wine sealed with cork from Sammy Sosa's bats.
* Dunk Ditka: The dunk tank to end all dunk tanks.
* The American Medical Association's list of diseases Jay Cutler's unvaccinated kids are likely to contract.
* Animatronic Ozzie. The former White Sox manager will spout racist non sequitors at visitors on an endless loop.
* Animatronic Elia. Eighty-five percent of the fuckin' world is working. The other fifteen percent come out here. A fuckin' playground for the cocksuckers.
* The Michael Jordan Files. Authentic reproductions of his gambling slips.
* The Bill Wirtz Memorial Hall. Enter a world without TV.
* Chicago 2016. An exhibit depicting life in Chicago if we had won that Olympic bid.
* The Miracle of '98. When steroids saved baseball.
* A urinal trough signed by Moises Alou.
* Greeter Albert Belle.
* The Beachwood Players re-enact Patrick Kane slugging a Buffalo cab driver at 1, 3 and 5 - a.m.
* A complete set of ties from the Chicago Fire.
* Animatronic Urlacher. Reminding you how ungrateful you are to be in his animatronic presence.
* The Lovie Smith Challenge Lab. Using a high-speed collider and a federal grant, the nation's top physicists try to crack the algorithm Lovie Smith uses to determine which calls to challenge.
* Greeter Dennis Green.
* Duncan Keith's teeth. He has agreed to store them here between games.
* Steve Bartman's interview requests. Through a quirk in the federal Freedom of Information Act, we were able to acquire every smarmy interview request every made of Steve Bartman.
-More from Beachwood Sports »
Will Bob Baffert ever go away? Churchill Downs Inc.: It's just what they do. Dickie D. dead. Cliches can shape your biorhythms. Double-teaming justice. You look just like. We asked one person, me.Continue reading "TrackNotes: Back To The Future" »
Posted on Jan 28, 2022
Electric, indefatigable and, finally, undenied.Continue reading "Minnie Miñoso Was Very, Very Good To Us" »
Posted on Dec 9, 2021