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On The North Side, Even Winning Is Losing

I wrote last week that the Cubs were the worst team in baseball. And they out and proved it all over again.

Sure, they went 6-1 for the week but they didn't get any better in the process. They actually got worse.

You may ask yourself, how is that possible? Well, it's possible because when a team is completely out of it for the season they need to make changes that will get them better for next season.This means you shouldn't play the guys that you know, you should play the guys that you don't know. You should play the guys that will help you next season. Unfortunately no one has explained this to Cubs management.

These bozos still seem to be playing for this season. I mean, remember when they traded Kosuke Fukudome for a bag of balls just so they could get Tyler Colvin some playing time? Well, Colvin didn't start two games last week and was yanked during two others.

How does this tell you if this guy has what it takes to play everyday? By definition, if you want to know if someone is good enough to play every day you have to um, play him, I don't know, maybe, every day?

Am I bleeping crazy here? Is there a reason to showcase Reed Johnson now? So playoff teams can look at him and think, boy, I wish the Cubs would have traded us that guy because he is valuable.

Does this make Jim Hendry sleep better at night?

And winning six of seven only means these buffoons will keep things going the same way. They are going to get even worser.

For the love of god let all the kids play all the time and see what they got so the next management group knows what they have to deal with.

I swear, if these guys think that they are still managing (and general managing) to keep their jobs I really hope they are delusional.

Although, the more I think about it, the more I'm becoming to realize that this might just be what Mike Quade is good at - winning meaningless games at the end of a wasted season. He did it last year and appears to be doing it again.

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Week in Review: The Cubs went 6-1 for the week, winning sweeping the Pirates in four and taking two of three from the Reds. If only it was April and it mattered.

The Week in Preview: The Cubs stay home for three more when the Nationals come to town and then head to Atlanta for three against the Braves. I'm not really sure how, but the Cubs will find a way to make real fans angry this week once again. They always find a way.

The Second Basemen Report: Darwin Barney started five of seven games this week and left fielder Blake DeWitt got the other two. Looking into the numbers, Blake is having pretty much the same season as Darwin but has just half the at-bats. I mean, maybe Barney has a higher ceiling (they're both the same age) but maybe he doesn't. And the more I think about it, he probably doesn't. Which is just like Jim Hendry drew it up.

In former second basemen news, Eric Patterson was designated for assignment from the Padres in June, when he was missed.

The Zam Bomb: Big Z is apologetic this week as two wins in his last two starts make the big guy happy. But three runs, 10 baserunners, smoke, and some mirrors in his last win show that there is anger on the horizon.

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Marlon Byrd Supplemental Report: Conte has been injecting Marlon with "milestone." Congrats on getting his 1,000th hit.

Lost in Translation: Tylerio Colvin-san is Japanese for gross mismanagement.

Endorsement No-Brainer: Mike Quade for Parker Brothers. Because he doesn't have a Clue.

Sweet and Sour Quade: 90% sweet,10% sour. Mike gains two points for false hope and winning. And just like your thought-to-be well-adjusted uncle, Mike always knew his hog was going to win first prize at the fair, but he only got the ribbon because of scheduling conflicts, traffic issues, and a bitter divorce effecting the other pig owners.

Ameritrade Stock Pick of the Week: Shares of gold doubloons traded lower this week due to a Pirate ship running aground.

Over/Under: Number of seasons Dusty Baker took a contender and ran it into the ground: +/- another one.

Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that even the Cubs can screw up a 6-1 week.

Farm Report: "Sometimes, winning becomes a habit," Iowa Cubs first baseman Bryan LaHair said. "Losing can become a habit, too."

The Cub Factor: Unlike Soriano, you can catch 'em all!

The White Sox Report: Know the enemy.

Get Your Gangler On: Follow Marty on Twitter.

Mike Quade Status Update:

Well-Adjusted / Delirious / High

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