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It's not even fun to watch out of spite anymore.
Not when you're being fed Brent Lillibridge and Alberto Gonzalez and - still - Alfonso Soriano and Scott Feldman.
Not when a minor-league catcher starts at third and ends up on the DL because he swung too hard in the game's final play.
Not when the fastest guy on your team bats second and doesn't have a walk in his first 54 at-bats.
Not when your $52 million off-season signing is a well-traveled journeyman opens the season 0-2 with a 6.06 ERA and can't hold a 4-1 lead.
Not when you set a major league record with five wild pitches in one inning, as well as a balk and one of five walks on the day to go with one hit batsman.
Not even when Dioner Navarro hits two pinch-hit home runs in consecutive at-bats over two games, He's no Hank White.
We didn't send that goat's head to Tom Ricketts, but we appreciate the sentiment.
How about putting a winner on the field first, then "improving" the field? This may just be Theo Epstein's second season with the Cubs, but it's Ricketts' fourth. In 2009, the Cubs lost 78 games. Ricketts took control after that season. In 2010, the Cubs lost 87 games. In 2011, the Cubs lost 91 games. In 2012, the Cubs lost 101 games. So far this year, they are on pace to lose 108.
Did I mention (again) that the Cubs are baseball's most profitable team? And that the Ricketts' are one of America's richest families? And that the White Sox have a higher payroll by slightly more than Joe Ricketts spends on right-wing politics, which is also more than what the family spends on all but one player on the Cubs roster? And that player is Soriano?
Maybe they should move to Rosemont after all. Because they aren't our Cubs anymore. While the team was the sinister plaything of the Tribune Company, there were at least enough spiritual forces like Harry Caray - look at the rooftops! - and Steve Stone and Mark Grace and (for some, not me) Kerry Wood and Bob Brenly and even Jim Hendry miscues like Lou Piniella. Now the ad creep at Wrigley has become an ad avalanche while Scott Feldman gets $6 million to not cover first.
What is the point anymore? If you take away everything everyone loved about the Cubs, all that's left is a loser franchise so bad that it's unwatchable. Then you'll be advertising to no one.
Week in Review: The Cubs went 2-4 last week with their best performance coming in Wednesday's postponement against the Brewers, because even when this team wins they look really bad doing so.
Week in Preview: The Cubs have today off, then welcome the Texas Rangers into Wrigley Field for a three-game set sure to deliver highlight reels of embarrassments. Then they set out on a 10-day road trip, starting in Milwaukee. By the time they come back, they will have clinched next year's No. 1 position for the draft.
The Second Basemen Report: Brent Lillibridge started the week 0-for-6 and the season 0-for-24 before finally knocking in two runs with a single against the Brewers to finally do something productive, then found himself on the bench the following day. He returned a game later at third base and went 0-for-3. Alberto Gonzalez also hit a 2-run homer in what was a Suck Off to see who would lose their roster spot upon Darwin Barney's return from the DL, but with Steve Clevenger now out for six weeks after hurting himself striking out to end a game, the mediocrity will just be more evenly distributed.
In former second basemen news, Darwin Barney is expected back on Tuesday. He is missed.
The Not-So-Hot Corner Clevenger actually got the start at third base the day he hurt himself. See what happens? Meanwhile, Luis Valbuena is hitting .188 with more walks (8) than hits (6), which also means his OBP is .350. Leadoff man David DeJesus's OBP is .326.
Prospect Joshua Warren Vitters remains on the DL for back soreness; he is 0-for-1 in Des Moines.
Deserted Cubs: Tony Campana has two stolen bases and three walks to go with just two hits in Reno. The Diamondbacks added Michael Brenly to their organization via a minor league contract. Dad Bob is doing great in the booth. Erstwhile Cub Randall Delgado is 2-1, albeit with a 7.45 ERA. Former Cubs draft pick Eric Hinske is hitting .333.
Sveum's Shadow: 6 p.m. Dale Sveum's shadow is already 2 hours and 30 minutes past its 5 o'clock start position upon his realization that this is a very, very, very, very bad team.
Shark Tank: Another 100 pitches in six innings gives Jeff Samardzija 205 in the 11 2/3 innings of his last two starts. An ace has to be more than a six-inning guy.
Jumbotron Preview: Highlight reel of Harry Caray extolling the virtues of the rooftops.
Kubs Kalender: Wait 'til
next year 2016.
Over/Under: Games until Carlos Marmol is returned to the closer's role: 12.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that neither Kevin Gregg nor Kameron Loe is the answer, unless the question is how the Cubs can make their bullpen even worse than it already is.
The Cub Factor: Unlike Alfonso Soriano, you can catch 'em all!
The White Sox Report: Know the enemy.
-More from Beachwood Sports »
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Posted on Mar 24, 2017