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Ofman: Dis and Dat, Dem and Dose

LeBron to the Bulls.

Bosh to the Bulls.

This could be a bunch of Bull.

So what is Plan B or Plan C?

What if there is no LeBron or Bosh? Then what?

Carlos Boozer? Rudy Gay? David Lee? Amare Stoudemire? Mark Miller?

I know this: If LeBron and Bosh do not surface in Miami with Dwyane Wade, Stephen A. Smith should resign as a sports whatever-he-is and become a spokesman for Roto-Rooter.

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I wonder if Carlos Zambrano has taken his pills yet.

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Back to Wade. He met with Bulls officials on Thursday, two days before Jerry Reinsdorf and his entourage trek to Akron to court King James.

Here's an idea: Instead of bringing Benny the Bull, have Derrick Rose tag along. That could get the job done.

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Here's one reason Wade will stay in Florida: NO STATE INCOME TAX!

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The Adam Burish era has ended. He was not tendered a contract by the ever-changing Blackhawks.

We might never meet a more refreshing and effervescent character as Burish, but when it came down to the business of defending a Stanley Cup, he simply didn't factor in. Now, all GM Stan Bowman has to do is find a new home for Cristobal Huet, even if it means Rockford.

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The White Sox are finding a return to the American League not as comforting as the Senior Circuit.

The Sox beat up on the NL as if it was the town bully. Then they meet the lowly Royals and guess who's pushing who?

The Sox won't win this division unless they cinch back, hunker down and get Adam Dunn.

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And even then, they might need another starter because I don't trust Jake Peavy.

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And even then, they won't make the playoffs if the Twins get Cliff Lee.

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And don't forget these names: Lance Berkman, Roy Oswalt and Adam LaRoche.

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Stop the presses! Stephen A. Smith just reported LeBron, Bosh and Wade to the Knicks in a sign-and-trade for the Empire State Building.

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Carlos Zambrano is in New York City for his first medical evaluation. He just punched out the Statue of Liberty.

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I tried so hard to get into the World Cup. That's a lie. I tried a little and it didn't work. There's just not enough offense.

That said, I'm watching the Cubs and thinking, what's the difference?

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Twin sons of a different mother: Dusty Baker, deposed manager the Chicago Cubs, matched wits with Lou Piniella who, by season's end, will be the deposed manager of the Chicago Cubs.

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Baker has intimated that Zambrano was exhibiting signs of future behavioral problems while he managed the team from 2003 to 2006. Ya think?

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Just think about this for a minute: Carlos Zambrano still has two-and-a-half years and $45 million coming to him - and a no-trade clause. Aramis Ramirez can opt out of his contract after the season but, after suffering through a season from hell, he'll stay and collect $14.6 million. Alfonso Soriano has $81 million left on a contract that runs through 2014. Kosuke Fukudome has $20 million coming through next season.

Meet your 2011 Cubs!

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