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No Baseball, Daddy

As a dad, every once in awhile I am reminded of something I should remember by my young son. My little guy is just over three-years-old and at that age they tend to lack "political correctness." They really just call it as they see it and they let the chips fall where they may. Which means they can say the sweetest and most hurtful things in back-to-back sentences.

What I will remember about Father's Day 2011 is my son telling me, "No baseball, daddy." I tried to get him into the game but the answer was always "No baseball, daddy."

And it turned out he was right. I was better off not watching that debacle unfold on Sunday night, with the Cubs throwing away the game with so many "un-error errors." You know, those plays that don't show up as an error in the box score but are as detrimental to winning baseball as a lazy grounder going right under your glove.

I'm not sure that an "un-error error" is the correct term for outfielders giving up on catchable flyballs, but I do know that that was "No baseball, daddy." The smartest person in the room was the three-year-old.

The Week in Review: The Cubs went 4-3 for the week, taking three of four from the Brewers and losing two of three to the Yankees. As overhyped as the Yankee series was and as over-into it as the Cubs (and fans) were, it really was the Chicago Cubs' 2011 World Series. That's because they stinks.

The Week in Preview: The Cubs take the short trip to the ballpark formerly known as Comiskey for three against the Sox and then head to KC to play three with the Royals. You can throw out the record when the Cubs play the Sox, but you can also throw out most of the Cubs roster.

The Second Basemen Report: I can't say I'm happy that Darwin Barney found the DL this week, but I will say that The Second Basemen Report is happy. If a part of a weekly internet column can somehow be happy. Blake DeWitt got three starts, Jeff Baker got one and that LeMahieu kid got a start also. This is exactly what we thought would happen until this meddling Barney kid got here and screwed it all up with some decent and somewhat consistent play, which was not how Jim Hendry drew it up.

In former second basemen news, Ryne Sandberg has the Lehigh Valley IronPigs in first place. There is also a sweet golf visor giveaway coming up. He is missed.

The Zam Bomb: Big Z is getting a bit angry as he actually contemplates waiving his no-trade clause. Which should make Cub fans not angry at all.



Marlon Byrd Supplemental Report: Conte has been injecting Marlon with "Reed Johnson" in hopes to make him look better than he really is.

Lost in Translation: aboutio timee is Japanese for Fukudome had four RBIs in one game after having six all season.

Endorsement No-Brainer: Alfonso Soriano for Viagra, because the guy is a stiff.

Sweet and Sour Quade: 87% sweet,13% sour. Mike stands pat once again this week because he just doesn't know any better. And just like your supposedly well-adjusted uncle, the girls at the corner bar know Mike will buy them a few drinks every Friday night even though they don't give him the time of day.

Ameritrade Stock Pick of the Week: Shares of Doug Davis traded higher this week and investors are advised to get rid of this stock now as you will never see it higher.

Over/Under: The number of different players who will bat third in the line-up this week: +/- 4.5.

Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that when the Cubs are on national TV they look like a complete joke of a franchise, which we know they are.

The Cub Factor: Unlike Soriano, you can catch 'em all!

The White Sox Report: Know the enemy.

Get Your Gangler On: Follow Marty on Twitter.

Note For Readers Used To Seeing The Mount Lou Alert System Here: When manager Mike Quade shows any signs of, well, really anything abnormal, we will be all over it with some kind of graph or pictorial depiction of whatever it is, but until this guy shows something besides just being a normal, thoughtful, intelligent guy, we got next to nothing on him. We are hoping he shows something and kinda hoping he doesn't also, know what I mean? BUT HE IS GETTING MUCH CLOSER . . . We think he's becoming delusionally optimistic.


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