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Upping The Cubs' Nickname Game

With the Cubs advancing to the National League Championship Series, this team needs to up its nickname game to the level befitting a World Series contender. We'll help.

Kyle Schwarber: Schwarbs - see - seems to be the richest in possibility: We already favor Bam Bam, and Babe is fine too. But let's play around a little.

* Schwarbsy.

* The Schwarbster.

* The Schwarb Master.

* Charles Schwarb.

* Schwarberry Short Cake.

Jorge Soler: George Sun.

Anthony Rizzo: Tony. I mean, really. The only one calling him Anthony should be his mother. More possibilities:

* The Rizz, which accompanying song to the tune of "The Streak:" Oh yes they call him the Rizz/look at him look at him . . .

* A-Rizz.

* Rizzolo.

* Rizzuti.

* The Rizzmaster.

* Rizzarooni.

* Rizz-a-Roni.

David Ross: Diana?

* The Rosster.

* Ross-a-Roni.

Starlin Castro: Fidel is too easy; Raul too obscure. For the way he teases with talent and then makes the big mistake, we'll go with Starlin Cutler.

Kris Bryant: The Minnesota contingent of the Beachwood can't help but wanna call him Bobby. For everybody else . . .

* Kris-B-Kreme.

* KB (borrrrring!)

* Schwarbsy.

Dexter Fowler: Poin.

Jake Arrieta: The Snake is pretty well set.

Miguel Montero: The Miguelster!

Schwarber, Bryant, Rizzo: We caught ourselves calling them the Axis of Evil on Tuesday night, but they're too nice for that. Boyz II Men? 'NSync? The Backstreet Boys?

Jon Lester: Is morester?

Travis Got Wood: Um, Got.

Jason Hammel: Notgonnapitchhereagain.

Javy Baez: Bye-Bye Baez.

Jonathan Whererra?

Austin Action Jackson: A given.

Chris Denorfia: Chris Denotgonnaplayhereagainfia.

Chris Coghlan: Maddon calls him CC, but we prefer Coghlanewski.

Fernando Rodney: Obviously the Arrow.

Hector Rondontblowitintheninth.

Pedro The Strop.

Maddison Russell.

Tommy La Stella: Stinson.

Wrigley Field: Madhouse on Maddison.


Comments welcome.

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Posted on Oct 11, 2021