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With the Cubs advancing to the National League Championship Series, this team needs to up its nickname game to the level befitting a World Series contender. We'll help.
Kyle Schwarber: Schwarbs - see - seems to be the richest in possibility: We already favor Bam Bam, and Babe is fine too. But let's play around a little.
* The Schwarbster.
* The Schwarb Master.
* Charles Schwarb.
* Schwarberry Short Cake.
Jorge Soler: George Sun.
Anthony Rizzo: Tony. I mean, really. The only one calling him Anthony should be his mother. More possibilities:
* The Rizz, which accompanying song to the tune of "The Streak:" Oh yes they call him the Rizz/look at him look at him . . .
* The Rizzmaster.
David Ross: Diana?
* The Rosster.
Starlin Castro: Fidel is too easy; Raul too obscure. For the way he teases with talent and then makes the big mistake, we'll go with Starlin Cutler.
Kris Bryant: The Minnesota contingent of the Beachwood can't help but wanna call him Bobby. For everybody else . . .
* KB (borrrrring!)
Dexter Fowler: Poin.
Jake Arrieta: The Snake is pretty well set.
Miguel Montero: The Miguelster!
Schwarber, Bryant, Rizzo: We caught ourselves calling them the Axis of Evil on Tuesday night, but they're too nice for that. Boyz II Men? 'NSync? The Backstreet Boys?
Jon Lester: Is morester?
Travis Got Wood: Um, Got.
Jason Hammel: Notgonnapitchhereagain.
Javy Baez: Bye-Bye Baez.
Austin Action Jackson: A given.
Chris Denorfia: Chris Denotgonnaplayhereagainfia.
Chris Coghlan: Maddon calls him CC, but we prefer Coghlanewski.
Fernando Rodney: Obviously the Arrow.
Pedro The Strop.
Tommy La Stella: Stinson.
Wrigley Field: Madhouse on Maddison.
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