Sports

Nicknaming Rights

By Beachwood Labs

The performances of Carlos Quentin on the South Side and Geovany Soto on the North this season have pushed both into that rare territory for athletes where the public must take control of his nickname. Beachwood Labs has been working on this furiously and its computers have spit out the following possibilities.

1. Carlos "Zambrano" Quentin

2. Carlos "I'm No Longer Rentin'" Quentin

3. The Big Flirt

4. Carlos "Thome Is Washed Up" Quentin

5. Carlos "A Year From Now He'll Be Pumping Gas" Quentin

6. Carlos "Salinas de Gortari" Quentin

7. The Big Queasy

8. Q Block

9. Carlos "Better Than Konerko" Quentin

10. Carlos "Tarantino" Quentin

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1. "Sammy" Soto

2. Big G

3. Geovany "Michael Barrett Is My Bitch" Soto

4. Geovany "Way Better Than Koyie Hill" Soto

5. Geo "Dio" Soto.

6. Roto Soto

7. Geovany "Thome Is Washed Up" Soto

8. Geovany "Not Your Mommy" Soto

9. G Block

10. The Big Girth

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