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Andrew Reilly is on special assignment in search of Brian Anderson. He returns next week.
You'll know Ozzie Guillen is on the way out the door once he starts complaining about Steve Stone.
Until then, Kenny Williams is the one on the clock. Following in Jim Hendry's footsteps and bringing in recognizable journeymen and former stars isn't working. And neither is letting the manager make the roster.
And let us ask something: What is it about working for Jerry Reinsdorf . . . ?
Week in Review: Are the White Sox on a roll? They went 5-2 this week, including a four-game winning streak and two of three from the Cubs. So, no.
Week in Preview: The Sox travel to Pittsburgh to take on the Cubs-killing Pirates, then mosey on over to Washington, D.C., to face Stephen Strasburg.
Hawkeroo's Can-O-Corn Watch: You know, I'm a friend of Lou Piniella's and I'm a friend of Steve Stone's, and I'm just gonna strap it down and sit back. Because Lou Piniella is the kind of manager who can win baseball games, straight out. And he's no damn dummy. And Steve Stone is one of those guys that you just know knows how this game works and if those two can't strap it down, then no one can. I just wonder what the hell I'm doing here.
Gordon Beckham Hall of Fame Update: You can't bunt your way there.
Alumni News You Can Use: Clayton Richard is "a must-start in all formats."
The "H" in "DH" Stands For: Hasta la vista, Kenny.
The Q Factor: I'm telling you straight, it's my way or the highway. So anybody wants to waIk, do it now. Alright. PeopIe who really wanna have a good time won't come to a sIaughterhouse. And we've got entireIy too many troubIemakers here. Too many 40-year-oId adoIescents, feIons, power drinkers and and trustees of modern chemistry. It's going to change. All you have to do is follow three simpIe ruIes. One: never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two: take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unIess it's absoIuteIy necessary. And three: be nice. If somebody gets in your face and calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice. Ask him to waIk, be nice. If he won't waIk, waIk him. But be nice. If you can't waIk him, one of the others will heIp you. And you'll both be nice. I want you to remember that it's a job. It's nothing personaI.
The Guillen Meter: The Guillen Meter wavers between 20 and 80 as he tries to work out whether Steve Stone will go after him next or if Stone must now shut his trap to avoid fighting two managers at once.
Endorsement No-Brainer: BP for the Crosstown Classic.
Cubs Snub: Your manager is so bad our announcer is ripping him.
The White Sox Report: Read 'em all.
The Cub Factor: It's funny because it's true.
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