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The Brewers are having an even worse season than the Cubs - well, half a game worse at this point - but they're having a lot more fun.
For example, our very own Marty Gangler points out that this Sunday is Polish Guy Bobblehead Day.
The Cubs, on the other hand, will celebrate Edwin Jackson Bobblehead Day on Saturday.
And in July, the Brewers will host Zubazpalooza
The Cubs will have The PrivateBank Tote Bag Night.
Here are some promotions we'd prefer to see instead:
* Carlos Marmol Has Been Released Night.
* Darwin Barney Takes A Walk Day.
* Starlin Castro Is Put On ADHD Drugs Day.
* Dale Sveum Has Decided To Spend More Time With His Family Day.
* Joe Pa Ricketts Has Suddenly Decided To Sell The Team Weekend.
* First 10,000 Fans Get To Punch Theo Epstein in The Face Day.
* Alfonso Soriano Is No Longer A Cub Night.
* Floppy Hat Big Enough To Shield Your View Of What's Happening On The Field Day.
* Free Beer To The First 35,000 Fans. For The Rest Of Their Lives. Because They Deserve It.
Week in Review: The Cubs lost three of four to the Reds but were on the verge of sweeping the Mets when Marmol Happened.
Week in Preview: The Cubs are in St. Louis for four and then return home for three against the Astros. Guess which one of those franchises most resembles our own? (Hint: The wrong one.)
The Second Basemen Report: Darwin Barney is still the everyday second baseman, which is remarkable given that he's been flirting with a batting average dangerously close to falling under. 200 and his OBP stands at .283. Even more remarkably, he left another 12 men on-base last week. He did start to pick it up a bit against the Mets, but that only raised his week's worth of production to 7-for-31.
It's taken an injury to David DeJesus for Dale Sveum to move Luis Valbuena and his .357 OBP to the leadoff spot (DeJesus's OBP was only .318); will it take an injury to Barney to move Valbuena to second and let Cody Ransom (.373 OBP) take over third for now?
In former second basemen news, you can take the man out of the Cubs but you can't take the Cubs out of man.
The Not-So-Hot Corner I believe we've just covered it.
Wishing Upon A Starlin: Starlin Castro lost another two points on his batting average this week and six points on his OBP, which puts his slash line at .241/.277/.337. His career average is now .290 with a .329 OBP. On Sunday he committed his 10th error of the season.
Junior Lake's slash line in Iowa: .383/.434/.489.
The Legend of Dioner Navarro: Left two on-base in his only pinch-hit attempt of the week; went 2-for-11 as a starter.
Welington Castillo, by the way, has a .313 OBP. And yet, Dale says he's nearly an elite catcher.
Deserted Cubs: Tony Campana still has his OBP up to .351 at Reno. He's getting it done, people!
Bullpen Bullshit: Um, wow.
Ameritrade Stock Pick of the Week: Shares of Boy Geniuses are trading lower as The Plan is increasingly called into question.
Sveum's Shadow: Dale Sveum's Five O'Clock Shadow moves to 10 p.m. upon the realization that showcasing Carlos Marmol for a trade is not a viable strategy. Also, Dale cut himself with the razor. He says it was an accident.
Shark Tank: The story remains the same with Jeff Samardzija, who struck out six in six innings on Thursday on 116 pitches. He also gave up five earned runs and 10 hits. This is not progress.
Jumbotron Preview: Six thousand square feet of Junior Lake starting at shortstop.
Kubs Kalender: Wait 'til
next year 2016.
Over/Under: Starts until Matt Garza is hurt again: 1. Unless you count emotionally; then it just happened.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that the Cubs will be even worse after the trading deadline.
The Cub Factor: Unlike Alfonso Soriano, you can catch 'em all!
The White Sox Report: Know the enemy.
-More from Beachwood Sports »
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Posted on Jan 14, 2019