Beachwood Sports ArchiveA monthly look back
Beachwood Sports VideoPlease Stop Believing 99 Years of Cub Losses The 1908 Song Blame It On Bartman We Can't Wait 100 Years Dusty Must Get Fired
Search The Beachwood Reporter
Subscribe to the Newsletter
"More than a year after the Ricketts family paid $20 million for the McDonald's lot across from Wrigley Field, the Cubs ownership group announced an agreement . . . to develop a boutique Sheraton hotel on the Wrigleyville site," Crain's reported last month.
Sources tell the Beachwood the hotel will include the following features:
* Bathrooms will look like Wrigleyville alleys. Or just go in the hall.
* Troughs on each floor for guests who would prefer to urinate as a group.
* Guaranteed drunk, vomiting neighbor.
* Bellhop guarantees successful delivery of luggage to your room .286 of the time.
* Spoken word poetry by Lee Elia at the coffee shop.
* To simulate sitting deep in the 200s section, windows 25% the size of other rooms.
* Mark Grace's Slumpbusters Steakhouse to include complementary breathalyzers.
* Skunky minibar beers at just $26 a bottle.
* Reservations $100 above face value on Cubs-owned secondary market.
* Champagne corks in Sammy Sosa Suite made from his old bats.
* Wake-up calls pre-recorded by Ronnie Woo-Woo.
* Rates by the day instead of by night - except for 30 times a year.
* D-list celebrity leads 7 p.m. stretch in the spa.
* Complex algorithm will determine each guest's replacement value.
* Guests asked to be patient with 105-year remodeling plan.
* McDonald's on site starts serving McGoat.
* Front desk staff will all come from Boston.
-More from Beachwood Sports »
Was it the "Ricky's Boys Don't Quit" t-shirts? Or the opportunity to see if the Sox could break out of their slump at home where their record was 3-15?Continue reading "Some Fans Don't Quit" »
Posted on May 21, 2018
Tom's Magic Eight Ball sez . . .Continue reading "TrackNotes: Two Down For Justify. One To Go?" »
Posted on May 20, 2018
Meanwhile, Mad Joe Maddon is driving us mad. Plus: Bulls: We Stanks; Captain Kane; Ryan Pace Still Sucks; Last Year Was Supposed To Be Rock Bottom; Mike Trout, GOAT?; C'mon, Ricky, More Nicky!; and Schweinsteiger!Continue reading "The Beachwood Radio Sports Hour #201: Much Ado About Machado" »
Posted on May 18, 2018