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Exclusive! Inside The Bulls' Plan To Get 'Melo

"The United Center signage that greeted Carmelo Anthony featured the All-Star free agent in his preferred headband, an item typically banned by the Bulls," the Tribune reports.

"The post-dinner conversation between Anthony, Hall of Famer Scottie Pippen and Bulls Chairman Jerry Reinsdorf, among others, flowed freely and lingered long into a spectacular Chicago night

"Yes, the Bulls did everything they could in their lengthy Tuesday pitch to Anthony, leaving no detail uncovered."

Tru dat. In fact, the Beachwood has learned that the Bulls package included these perks:

* Unlimited free passes to new Star Wars museum.

* Mayor's Office will arrange CNN documentary about you.

* There's always a spot for your kids at Payton Prep.

* You can put all the ketchup you want on your hot dogs.

* You are not required to pal around with Billy Dec.

* Mayor's Office will provide someone to vote for you.

* Closet full of old Rodman clothes is yours. Including the furs.

* CPD pledges two Get Out of Jail Free cards.

* Two free strips of Taste of Chicago tickets every year.

* Skilling will name a derecho after you.

* Can use Rauner's accountant.

* Hot Doug's will stay open one more year.

* Can not only throw out first pitch at Wrigley next year, you can stay in the rotation all summer.

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Comments welcome.

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