Beachwood Sports Archive
A monthly look backSearch The Beachwood Reporter
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Eddie Elia
If Eddie Vedder had channeled Lee Elia for his new song.
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[BLEEP] those [BLEEP]ing fans who come out here and say
Stuff it up those [BLEEP]ing people who show up every [BLEEP]ing day
I'll tell you one [BLEEP]ing thing, i hope we get [BLEEP]ing hotter than [BLEEP]
You can kiss my [BLEEP]ing ass right downtown and print it
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If you want to rip somebody, rip my [BLEEP]ing ass
We got guys bustin' their [BLEEP]ing ass
They're really behind you, my [BLEEP]ing ass
They ought to go out and get a [BLEEP]ing job
Yeah, they ought to go out and get a [BLEEP]ing job
What the [BLEEP] am I supposed to do, let my [BLEEP]ing players get destroyed
For the [BLEEP]ing nickel-dime people who always turn up
That's why they're at the [BLEEP]ing game, mother[BLEEP]ers don't work
It'll take more than a 5-12 to destroy this club
There's some [BLEEP]ing pros out there, they want to win
But you're stuck in a [BLEEP]ing stigma [BLEEP]ng situation
[BLEEP]ing Dodgers, [BLEEP]ing Phillies and all that cheap [BLEEP]
A [BLEEP]ing playground for 15 percent
Yeah, a [BLEEP]ing playground for 15 percent
A [BLEEP]ing playground for 15 percent
Rip them mother[BLEEP]ers with them [BLEEP]suckers too
Rip them like the [BLEEP]ing players, and them [BLEEP]ing people boo
If they're real Chicago [BLEEP]ing fans, they can kiss my [BLEEP]ing ass
Don't see the progress, 143 [BLEEP]ing games left
Eight-five percent of the [BLEEP]ing world's working, other 15 come here
Gonna find out what it's like, gonna [BLEEP]ing win it this year
This organization's been winners they're whole [BLEEP]ing life
That don't show 'cause we're 5-14
Yeah, that don't show 'cause we're 5-14
I wish I hadn't talked to Les Grobstein
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Also from the Beachwood Sports Parody Desk:
* Please Stop Believin'
* 99 Years of Cub Losses
* Blame It On Bartman
* We Can't Wait 100 Years
* Dusty Must Get Fired
* Let's Call The Crosstown Off!
* Louuuuu!
* Ode to Ozzie
* The 12 Days of Cubness
* The Hester Man Can!
TrackNotes: Arlington's Amber Alert
The higher purpose: Cheap-shit condos and another Starbucks.
Continue reading "TrackNotes: Arlington's Amber Alert" »Posted on Feb 26, 2021

MLB Cuts Out The Heart Of America
In an age where a small-market team like San Diego makes a splash with a $340 million deal for Fernando Tatis, Jr., the owners claim they simply can't continue to stock the rosters of 160 minor league teams, paying many players less than minimum wage.
Continue reading "MLB Cuts Out The Heart Of America" »Posted on Feb 22, 2021