Subscribe to the Newsletter

Cubs vs. Hawks

"Cubs cede radio time to Hawks."

Just so you won't get confused:

Cubs: Cursed by a goat.
Hawks: Cursed by a ghost.

*

Cubs: Star player gets paid to hop in the outfield.
Hawks: Star player hops out of cabs without paying.

*

Cubs: Big Z missing frontal lobe.
Hawks: Duncan Keith missing bottom row.

*

Cubs: Drop balls to end games.
Hawks: Pucks drop to start games.

*

Cubs: Decades of games on TV have caused misery and heartache.
Hawks: Decades of games not on TV have caused misery and heartache.

*

Cubs: Z.
Hawks: Q.

*

Cubs: Kosuke Fukudome.
Hawks: Dusty Byfuglien.

*

Cubs: Lou Piniella's gut has taken on a life of its own.
Hawks: Joel Quenneville's mustache has taken on a life of its own.

*

Cubs: Anti-winning.
Hawks: Antti Niemi.

*

Cubs: Mascot conquered by man.
Hawks: Mascot conquered by white man.

*

Cubs: Getting a new Toyota sign.
Hawks: Getting new trophy.

-

Comments and contributions welcome.

More from Beachwood Sports »

TrackNotes: Back To The Future

Will Bob Baffert ever go away? Churchill Downs Inc.: It's just what they do. Dickie D. dead. Cliches can shape your biorhythms. Double-teaming justice. You look just like. We asked one person, me.

Continue reading "TrackNotes: Back To The Future" »

Posted on Jan 28, 2022

The White Sox Report

Minnie Miñoso Was Very, Very Good To Us

Electric, indefatigable and, finally, undenied.

Continue reading "Minnie Miñoso Was Very, Very Good To Us" »

Posted on Dec 9, 2021