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Carl's Cubs Mailbag: Opening Day

Who will be starting at second for the season opener?
-Rutager, Alsip IL

There has been a strong push within the organization to give the job to Darwin Barney, but there is an outside chance that he will be named starting Small Town Deputy Sheriff in Sevierville, Tennessee; home to the Cubs AA affiliate. Many feel his name lends itself to the job. [Editors Note: Shortly after going to print, Darwin Barney was named the opening day second baseman and the Small Town Deputy Sheriff job was awarded to pitcher Trey McNutt]

What's up with the Orioles? Former Cubs Kevin Gregg, Jake Fox, Cesar Izturis, Derrek Lee and Felix Pie are on their major league roster. Corey Patterson, Will Ohman, Rocky Cherry, Scott Moore, Mike Fontenot and Lou Montanez were all on the team last year. Rich Hill and even Sammy Sosa were sent to Baltimore at one point. Is this the equivalent of Andy MacPhail rummaging through an ex's trash for loose clumps of hair in an attempt to make some sort of wicker-Cub?
-Rick, Crystal Lake IL

That's not a Wicker-Cub . . . THAT'S a Wicker-Cub.

What's the Over/Under on the number of times Len Kasper will say the phrase "Another good starting effort is wasted by a series of defensive miscues" in 2011?
-Ozwaldo, Barrington IL

No representative of the Cubs organization, including myself, condones gambling on the outcome of sporting events, so officially I'd advise you to consult a legitimate wagering website, a sea craft docked 17 inches away from an Elgin riverbank, or your local bookie*.

What will Jeff Samardzija's role be on the team this year?
-Jeff S. Merrillville IN

Because he is out of options in the baseball sense (he's got about ten million reasons to feel like he's got plenty of non-baseball options), Jeff is likely going to break camp with the major league club. However, he is scheduled to be ineffective for the first quarter of the season and get picked up on waivers by the Mets, where he will continue his career as a mishandled starter.

Who do you think the winner was in the Milton Bradley/Carlos Silva trade?
-Jermajestique, Chicago IL

According to the Elias Sports Bureau, Bradley made $11 million last year and Silva made $12.75 million, so the answer is Silva by a nose.

What kind of managing style can we expect from Mike Quade?
-Doug, Kankakee IL

He's going to be a fighter and a lover, so watch out ladies. Quade is a baseball lifer whose ability to sit and chew sunflower seeds is on par with any manager in the majors. Thanks to his lack of hair, he is also significantly less impacted by drag in the water, so the Cubs should be expected to have a noticeable edge in games where Marco Polo is incorporated into the strategy.

*Mine has it at 25.5


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