Beachwood Sports ArchiveA monthly look back
Beachwood Sports VideoPlease Stop Believing 99 Years of Cub Losses The 1908 Song Blame It On Bartman We Can't Wait 100 Years Dusty Must Get Fired
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How would you sum up this week's action in a catchy marketing phrase?
-Crane, Chicago IL
It's not the heat . . . it's the futility.
With Marmol struggling, do you think the Cubs are going to use anybody other than Sean Marshall at closer?
-Pat, Boone IA
Paul Weaver, the Cubs' international director of scouting, is currently working with Seal Team Six to conduct covert negotiations with former Marlins closer Ugueth Urbina inside of a Venezuelan prison.
Did the Dalai Lama get a chance to visit with the Cubs while he was in town?
-Frank, Chicago IL
He stopped by Wrigley on Sunday to get shampoo tips from Mike Quade and smoked a cigar with Jack McKeon.
It's Hall of Fame time again. Are you going to write the obligatory Cubs Fan case for Santo's induction? Because I'm tired of hearing it.
-Joe, Bristol CT
Good point, Mr. Morgan. Voting a baseball player into the Hall of Fame based on the hackneyed premises of hitting and defense has definitely worn thin. I feel your plight and have petitioned the good folks at Cooperstown to adopt a new set of criteria for induction. Some of the categories by which a player should be judged are:
I don't wanna watch Cubs games anymore because they suck. Do you have any other recommended viewing?
-Timmy, Peoria IL
As an aside, I want to invent a time machine for the sole purpose of traveling to 1993 to see the look on my face when I give my younger self the news that one day, Ice T will star on a Law & Order spinoff, Dr. Dre will endorse Hewlett-Packard and Brandy's brother would release a sex tape that would make the big-assed daughter of O.J. Simpson's lawyer famous.
I would not mention cell phones, the internet or the 2003 NLCS.
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