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Carl's Cubs Mailbag: The Law Of Diminishing Returns Starring That Hot Community College Chick And Carlos Marmol's Chubby Calves

Is Carlos Marmol still a good closer?
-Rick, Springfield IL

The Law of Diminishing Returns:
"The tendency for a continuing application of effort or skill toward a particular project or goal to decline in effectiveness after a certain level of result has been achieved."

After you started hanging out with that hot chick from the community college a couple times a week, she stopped looking so hot.

See also: Marmol, Carlos.

So to answer your question: Yes. He's still got some of the best stuff in the game. But you've seen him one too many times at the socio-economics study group not to notice his chubby calves.

Reed Johnson had a really nice, subtle play at home against the Reds this weekend. If he was Derek Jeter, would the ESPN give him a ton of credit for being blessed by Zeus' lightning bolt of baseball smartness?
-Wes, Montgomery IL

Reed wasn't smart enough to bring his .330 average and impressive overall baseball acumen to the Brewers or Braves last offseason, so let's not give him too much credit.

If you saw Jeter's recent HBO special, you'll know that he has his personal assistant put on his pants one leg at a time . . . just like the rest of us. Totally relatable.

I can think of literally dozens of baseball players who would be better subjects of a 60-minute cable special or biography. For instance:

* Rod Beck: Fat Don't Tear

* Remember That One Time I Hit A Ball Like 600 Feet? The Dan Pasqua Story

* Ricky Henderson: The Only Autobiography In History Written In The Third Person

* How To Hire A Housekeeper and Other Recruiting Secrets by Lenny Dykstra

Is Hong-Chih Kuo the Jedi from The Phantom Menace or a pitcher?
-Annie, New Lenox IL

Both. And he's not the only major leaguer to wield the force.

Here are some other notable players with a high midi-chlorian count:

* Obi Wan Zobrist

* Hee Seop Qui Gon Choi

* Mario Mendoza (how else could he have stayed in the majors?)


Send your questions and comments to Carl!

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Posted on Nov 26, 2021