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Carl's Cubs Mailbag: Strap It Down

After watching the Sox broadcast of the Crosstown for portions of the game, I've concluded that Hawk Harrelson makes a lot of obscure references. What's the strangest one you've heard?
-Steve, Glendale AZ

I tell you what Stone Pony, there's no reason to stop at just one Hawk-ism.

* You know who owned the best splitter I ever saw? Jose DeLeon. That's why I traded him straight up for Bobby Bonilla in 1986.

* I don't need to tell anyone that watched the '67 A's that the greatest outfielder of all time at playing balls off a single hop while moving to his left was Roger Repoz.

* [Following a muffled debate with a member of the WGN production team off mic] Doesn't matter if it's made of pure hormones. If it's called "Yaz," I'm assuming it's got something to do with Carl Yastrzemski, so I'm eating it.

There were shots of Rahm Emanuel in the stands at The Cell on Wednesday. Is there a shirt he won't wear a polo shirt under?
-Rick, Sycamore IL

No. When it's hot, Rahm wears a smaller polo shirt under his polo shirt to prevent sweat stains.

Who is fatter: Adam Dunn or . . .
-Randy, Huntley IL

I stopped reading. Adam Dunn.

I'm studying for the SATs and would like to ask you an analogy question. Yankees : Cubs :: . . .
-Sanjay, Evanston IL

27 is to 2.

Are the Cubs playing better ball or is the mediocre play of their divisional opponents producing the illusion of improvement?
-Stone, Roachtown IL

They are playing better ball in the same way a patient admitted to the ER in a coma with severe brain damage has been upgraded to "stable" condition by virtue of being not dead after a week.

Is Doug Davis good or bad at pitching?
-Paul, Paw Paw IL

No.

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