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Carl's Cubs Mailbag: Outfield Origami

It seems like when Randy Wells is off his game he gives up a lot of hits in a row. Is there a baseball term for allowing a certain number of guys to reach base consecutively?
-Mendoza, Line Store AR

That does seem to happen with Wells now and again, including Sunday when he let six consecutive Royals reach base.

Three in a row is a Turkey, borrowed from bowling vernacular.

Four in a row is a Sh*t Quatro, like the brand name razor.

Five in a row is a Pentaturd; the geometry majors in our reader base can figure that out.

Six in a row is an Alfonseca. Just Google "Alfonseca" and "six."

Everything after that is just called a "Shower Ticket."

Will Carlos Peenya be traded?
-Keith, Chicago IL

This has got to be from Moreland. He's the only guy I know who pronounces the name "Peña" (pain-yuh) like the Spanish word for pineapple.

He will be traded to San Francisco for Aubrey Huff, a picture of Aaron Rowand's forearms, a lock of Brian Wilson's beard and cash considerations.

What's up with those seagulls?
-Sunny, Des Plaines IL

Early in the season, Kosuke Fukudome constructed what he thought were one thousand paper cranes as part of a ritual meant to bless him with a more consistent second half.

Unfortunately, Kosuke isn't great at origami and had something of a mystical misfire.
Now, dozens of seagulls migrate to center field every afternoon.

Just be glad a medium-sized Godzilla hasn't destroyed Sluggers and the Cubby Bear.

How did Mike Quade get named to the All-Star team?
-Bruce, San Francisco CA

Someone must have compromised the security on Bruce Bochy's Twitter account.

How have the Cubs managed to avoid a three-game winning streak through June?
-Felix, Blue Island IL

The same way you get to Carnegie Hall . . . practice!

To put this strange feat into perspective, the 2004 Diamondbacks went 51-111 and had two such win streaks before the end of June.


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Posted on Mar 15, 2019

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