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Carl's Cubs Mailbag: AHHHHH-YAHH-YAHHH!

I tuned into the WGN internet broadcast on Saturday and Keith Moreland was talking about getting tested for hepatitis C. Long season, huh?
-Inna, Tuba City AZ

The season has effectively been over for awhile, so it isn't the first time the WGN radio team has offered up conversational filler to pass the endless minutes.

Highlights include:

* Jud Sirott's two minute tangent about male health including the need for regular "man-agrams" after 50 and an awkward exchange with Wildcats coach Pat Fitzgerald about the virility applications of powdered stingray.

* Pat Hughes' R-rated tirade about his dislike for giraffes during what was supposed to be a "live read" for Square D.

* That one game against the Royals where they just played the Lee Elia rant on a loop.

Did Marshall Faulk thank his wife for the "hard love" during his HOF induction speech?
-Phil, McCracken, MO

Yeah, he did.

"Thank you for loving me so hard. I wish that I could love as hard as you do."

To be fair to Mr. Faulk, baseball has had its fair share of wife-related Hall of Fame speech bloopers, including some by prominent Cubs. The first example that comes to mind was when Ryne Sandberg briefly, but audibly, thanked Joe Carter and Dickie Noles for tag-teaming his ex-wife Cindy in 1983.

Have the Cubs ever done anything as embarrassing as misspelling their own name?
-Jake, Black Snake KY

Some of the better known moments have been chronicled elsewhere, but I'm partial to a rumored trade that sent Daniel "Ol' Whiskers" McBeard to the Yankees in exchange for a package that included Fidel Castro.

McBeard went on to slay a stagecoach crew in Central Park following a heated backgammon debate and Castro went on to be an Adidas sponsor.

Are the Cubs becoming the Schneider-era Washington Redskins of baseball?
-Mack, Chicago IL

Overpriced, underperforming free agents? Check.

A loyal fan base that has been drug through the mud for decades? Check.

Occasional regular-season success overshadowed by playoff ineptitude? Check.

It's a pretty good comparison, but I'd say the chicks are better looking at Wrigley.

Is there anyone you'd like hear during the seventh-inning stretch?
-Dave, Crystal Lake IL

No question, it's David Lee Roth.

He's the only guy who could incorporate a kazoo, a jump kick and a "AHHHHH-YAHH YAHHH" into "Take Me Out To The Ballgame."


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