Beachwood Sports ArchiveA monthly look back
Beachwood Sports VideoPlease Stop Believing 99 Years of Cub Losses The 1908 Song Blame It On Bartman We Can't Wait 100 Years Dusty Must Get Fired
Search The Beachwood Reporter
Subscribe to the Newsletter
When can we expect Fukudome to start batting .245? Spring is almost here.
- Jon, Zion IL
Don't rush him, he's still adjusting to being a platoon player. Rudy Jaramillo has him in the cage every other day.
Alfonso Soriano already has six home runs. What's gotten into him?
- Bill, Humboldt Park
Manny Ramirez's urine.
When will Starlin Castro be moved to third in the lineup?
-Justin, Mokena IL
Not until his first slump of the season, when batting him first would be an embarrassment.
Even though the Cubbies had a losing road trip last week, it seemed like they were one or two pitches or clutch hits away from going 6-3. How close are they to being a good team?
-Stacy, Appleton WI
One or two pitchers and a clutch hitter.
How did Darwin Barney get his name?
-DeLino, Rockford IL
His parents were pioneers in the sociobiology of children's TV.
Is Mike Quade really as nice as he seems?
- Annabelle, Bolingbrook IL
Only when Hendry keeps him medicated.
How many times will Carlos Pena strike out this season?
- Sam, Streeterville
As often as Steve Stone in the Viagra Triangle.
I forget: How did the Cubs acquire Jeff Baker?
- Jim, Lakeview
Through Central Casting; they asked for Anonymous Extra Second Baseman Number Two.
Aramis Ramirez looks slimmer this year. What happened?
- Sandy, Berwyn IL
A bout of contractitis.
How did the Cubs let Sam Fuld get away?
George, DeKalb IL
They needed to clear a roster spot for Jim Hendry's incompetence.
More from Beachwood Sports »