Beachwood Sports ArchiveA monthly look back
Beachwood Sports VideoPlease Stop Believing 99 Years of Cub Losses The 1908 Song Blame It On Bartman We Can't Wait 100 Years Dusty Must Get Fired
Search The Beachwood Reporter
Subscribe to the Newsletter
Part of learning a new sport is knowing the terminology. Unfortunately, it's not as simple as adding a superfluous "u" to words (like in labour and flavour and Illinois Governour Bruuce Rauneur). Don't worry, I'm here to help.
Meaning: Running speed
Used in a sentence: Hillary Clinton shows great pace at pandering.
Term: Back Room
Meaning: What Americans call a sports team's Front Office. The support staff of a club.
Used in a sentence: Much of Illinois' politics is run from the Back Room.
Term: Own Goal
Meaning: A goal scored by a defender on his/her own team.
Used in a sentence: Bruce Rauner and Michael Madigan seems to have their own goals in solving Illinois' financial woes.
Term: Dummy Run
Meaning: A run made by a player to draw the attention away from an attacking teammate.
Used in a sentence: We all laughed at all the Republican Party nominees, because we never saw so many dummies run.
Meaning: Supporter of English Premier League club Arsenal
Used in a sentence: It goes without saying that Americans are sick of gunners and their acts of violence.
Meaning: Slang for a manager or head coach
Used in a sentence: Joe Biden is known to be quite the gaffer.
Meaning: Kick ball between defender's legs to get past him/her.
Used in a sentence: Donald Trump's nutmeg skin tone is quite unnatural.
Meaning: In the pyramid of football leagues, the bottom teams play in a lower league the following season.
Used in a sentence: The Chicago White Sox are in need of some relegation.
Meaning: A really good one, most often a game or shot.
Used in a sentence: Derrick Rose's joints often make a cracking noise.
Term: The Special One
Meaning: Self-named nickname of two-time Chelsea manager and new Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho.
Used in a sentence: It takes a Special One to give himself a nickname.
Beachwood Sabermetrics: Based on all historical data available from the beginning of time, Father's Day reminds us that good fathers raise their sons to hate Manchester United and Chelsea.
Sugar in the Cherry Kool-Aid: I'm not in the business of rooting against the Chicago Fire, but had they lost against the Indy Eleven in the Lamar Hunt U.S. Open Cup tournament, they would have had a dead spot in the schedule to play Bournemouth in late July. But the Fire won, which made me sad. Also, persistent rumors have Matt Ritchie going to West Ham and that makes me very, very sad.
Population of Cherry Nation: 3, up one from last week. Me, my high school friend who lives in Montana, and new Bournemouth signing American Emerson Hyndman.
Percent sugar in the Cherry Kool-Aid: 30%, down 5% from last week.
Previously in Breakfast In America:
* Which EPL Team Are You?
Breakfast proprietor Eric Emery welcomes your comments.
Just because it's Arlington's biggest day doesn't mean it's big in the grand scheme of American racing.Continue reading "TrackNotes: The Meaning Of The Million" »
Posted on Aug 15, 2017
No more Maddon magic. Plus: Cardiac Cutler & Schweinsteiger!Continue reading "The Beachwood Radio Sports Hour #165: Cubs' Mojo Missing, South Side Tank Job & Mitch Madness!" »
Posted on Aug 11, 2017