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Compare and contrast.
BP: Environmental disaster.
Big Z: Mental disaster.
BP: Beyond Petroleum.
Big Z: Beyond Reason.
BP: Owned by lying, evil corporate executives.
Big Z: Owned by lying, evil corporate executives.
BP: Leaking oil.
Big Z: Leaking brains.
BP: Unable to be contained.
Big Z: Unable to be contained.
BP: Oil boom.
Big Z: Goes boom.
BP: Responsible for tar balls.
Big Z: Responsible for gopher balls.
BP: Blames subcontractors for woes.
Big Z: Blames teammates for woes.
BP: Can't stop leak.
Big Z: Can't stop his mouth.
BP: Spewing toxin into the Gulf.
Big Z: Toxic in the clubhouse.
BP: Pitching bullshit.
Big Z: Will pitch out of the bullpen.
1. Beachwood Mark adds:
BP: Pinning hopes on relief well.
Big Z: Pinning hopes on relief pitchers.
BP: Laying waste to Gulf Coast economy.
Big Z: Laying waste to Wrigleyville economy.
BP: Trying to collect as much oil as possible until eventual solution is in place.
Big Z: Trying to collect as much salary as possible until eventual trade or release.
BP: Marginalized and ridiculed during Crosstown Series.
Big Z: Likewise.
BP: Making Exxon look good in comparison.
Big Z: Making Milton Bradley look good in comparison.
BP: Prospects of finding new oil made more difficult by current situation.
Big Z: Prospects of finding new team made more difficult by current situation.
BP: Obama is fed up.
Big Z: Ronnie Woo-Woo is fed up.
BP: Hayward under pressure for mishandling disaster.
Big Z: Hendry under pressure for enabling disaster.
BP: Government intervention into relief effort was inevitable.
Big Z: Psychiatric intervention into rehab effort is inevitable.
BP: Hoping the world's attention is focused elsewhere by September.
Big Z: Hoping he's pitching elsewhere by September.
BP: "Beyond Petroleum" tagline now seems ludicrous.
Big Z: "Staff Ace" designation now seems ludicrous.
BP: Stock price at all-time low.
Big Z: Trade value at all-time low.
BP: Moral of the story: highly combustible product + lack of internal controls = bad combination.
Big Z: Moral of the story: highly combustible personality + lack of self-control = bad combination.
The ultimate homer directs a lovefest as ridiculous and far from the truth as his broadcasts.Continue reading "Hawk Harrelson Goes Out As Awfully As He Broadcasted" »
Posted on Sep 17, 2018