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The Cubs are advertising for a new public address announcer, but Beachwood Sports has learned that the team has already compiled a short list of candidates.
* David Axelrod: Because he knows all about false hope.
* Steve Stone: Would not only tell you who's up, but what he's gonna do.
* Alfonso Soriano: At least they would get something out of the remainder of his contract.
* Blago: Could do it from his jail cell via Skype.
* Dock Walls: Somebody has to finally give him a job.
* Rahm Emanuel: P.A. would have to be on a seven-second delay.
* @MayorEmanuel: P.A. would have to be on a seven-second delay.
* Charlie Sheen: At least there'd be one winner in the Cubs organization.
* Bill Kurtis and Walter Jacobson: They're gonna need a new gig soon anyway.
* Todd Ricketts: Family looking for soft landing after disastrous Undercover Boss appearance.
* Michael Buffer: Let's get ready to crumble!
* Sheila Simon: Being lieutenant governor leaves her with plenty of free time.
* Straight No Chaser: Would also handle "Take Me Out To The Ballgame."
* A Recording Of Whoever Did It Last Year: Because not much has changed.
* Bob Rohrman: After all, there's only one.
-More from Beachwood Sports »
Lake Forest, Loserville. Plus: The Butt Fumble Bulls; Jerry Krause Was Right; Blackhawks Grinding Against Bad Teams; The Charmed Life Of Clean-Living Kris Bryant; Cubs Playing Match Game With Starters; Joe Maddon's World Series Managing Even Worse Than We Thought; Contracting Tim Anderson; Fire Get Schweinsteiger; A Team To Root For; and UIC's Tiny Dance.Continue reading "The Beachwood Radio Sports Hour #145: The Butt Fumble Bears" »
Posted on Mar 24, 2017