Sports

And The World Series Storyline Is . . .

By The Beachwood Homer Hanky Affairs Desk

New York Yankees vs. Los Angeles Dodgers: The most classic, media-saturated, bi-coastal Series possible. Fox and MLB wet their pants.

Boston Red Sox vs. Los Angeles Dodgers: The next best thing; all-Manny all the time.

Los Angeles Angels vs. Los Angeles Dodgers: The loser has to replace "Los Angeles" with Anaheim. West Coast starts make Fox and MLB cry. Rest of nation doesn't care.

Minnesota Twins vs. Los Angeles Dodgers: A replay of the 1965 World Series that only people in Minnesota will recall or care about.

New York Yankees vs. Philadelphia Phillies: East Coast brawl that rest of nation tunes out.

Boston Red Sox vs. Philadelphia Phillies: East Coast brawl that rest of nation plus New Yorkers tune out.

Los Angeles Angels vs. Philadelphia Phillies: Is American Idol on?

Minnesota Twins vs. Philadelphia Phillies: Nicest fans ever vs. meanest fans ever.

New York Yankees vs. St. Louis Cardinals: Classic match-up for hardcore baseball fans, which already excludes the West Coast so no loss there.

Boston Red Sox vs. St. Louis Cardinals: Mark DeRosa hits Series-winning home run over the Green Monster.

Los Angeles Angels vs. St. Louis Cardinals: Mike Sciosia vs. Tony LaRussa vs. heavy eyelids.

Minnesota Twins vs. St. Louis Cardinals: Media patronization of the heartland at an all-time high.

New York Yankees vs. Colorado Rockies: Spunky underdogs capture nation's imagination. Go Rocks!

Boston Red Sox vs. Colorado Rockies: Rockies curiously become the favorites. Go Rocks!

Los Angeles Angels vs. Colorado Rockies: What time is that Blackhawks game on?

Minnesota Twins vs. Colorado Rockies: Lowest World Series ratings ever.

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