YouTube BoobTube

The Republican presidential candidates gather in St. Petersburg, Florida tonight for the CNN/YouTube debate and, as is our habit, the Mystery Debate Theater team will gather at Beachwood HQ to bring you the action. To help get you pumped up, we offer a preview of both tonight's debate and the rest of the Republican schedule.

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The Beachwood Political Affairs Desk has learned that the following video questions are under consideration:

1. Snowman: I was born right here in the U.S. of A. Shouldn't I be allowed to get a drivers license?

2. Woman breast feeding an assault rifle: This is my baby. Do you really want to take her away from me? Part two: Do you mind if I breast feed her in public?

3. Congressman Tancredo, you've sponsored legislation that would make English the official language of the United States. Can you name the ten major parts of speech?"

4. I'd like an answer from everyone: Who do you think the Democrats hate more, America or God?

5. Congressman Hunter, did you order the code red?

6. This one is for everyone: How do you feel about Led Zeppelin choosing the Cult to open for them on their reunion tour?

7. Ron Paul, you have a choice: Name any singer from American Idol or tell us who won the Super Bowl last year.

8. Show of hands: Is this a good joke? Two queers walk into a church . . .

9. Rudy Giuliani, here are photos of Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton and Barbara Boxer. If you had to choose one of their outfits to wear out tomorrow evening, which one would it be?

10. Mitt Romney, please repeat any line from Caddyshack . . . in character, please.

11. Rudy G., if you were president would you make gay divorce illegal?

12. Tommy Tancredo, if you were eating a particularly spicy tamale, would you wash it down with a Corona or a margarita?"

13. John McCain, if you had to guess which venereal disease Ann Coulter has, which one would you guess?

14. Mike Huckabee, please justify the existence of Arkansas.

15. Mitt Romney, I'm not sure you're in touch with average Americans. Can you name the price of commissions on the average Charles Schwab stock trade?

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Future Republican debates on tap:

* PewTube (for social conservatives)
* SpewTube (for conservative talk radio)
* ShrewTube (for Republican women)
* FrouFrouTube (for William F. Buckley conservatives)
* SnafuTube (for neo-cons)
* ThumbscrewTube (for harder-core neo-cons)
* UntrueTube (for Justice department conservatives)
* RubeTube (for Nascar conservatives)
* JiffyTube (for fiscal conservatives)
* StillUsingATypewriterTube (for Bedrock conservatives)

- Tim Willette, Rick Kaempfer, Steve Rhodes

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