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The Beachwood Election Guide For Change 2008

Remember, you can take this into the voting booth with you.

PRESIDENT: Except for a brief shining call for real reform coming out of the Republican convention, John McCain has run a lousy campaign that has just gotten worse as it has gone along. He's not George W. Bush, he's George H. W. Bush, reprising the 1988 spectacle that was built around flag factories and the Pledge of Allegiance. The assertion that Barack Obama is a radical with a secret radical plan is not only scurrilous, it's ignorant.

On the other hand, how can any of us here in Chicago who have longed for an end to our thoroughly corrupt political system vote for a man whose political godfather was Tony Rezko and whose political mentor was Emil Jones? How much more do you need to know? That the Daleys are thrilled with the prospect of an Obama presidency? That Rahm Emanuel is licking his lips? Do you really think change is on the way?

Green Party candidate Cynthia McKinney is a nut. Ralph Nader almost always speaks the truth, but he's marginalized himself. Plus, writing him in has gotten boring. Bob Barr is great fun, but I don't want to ever recall my list of presidential votes in a bar 20 years from now and have to say that I once voted for him.

What I don't understand is that in Illinois, write-in candidates apparently must file paperwork with election authorities to appear on the ballot - and only those write-in votes will be counted. What about a write-in vote where you simply "write-in" a name on a blank line? Isn't that my right? Why can't that be counted?

Because that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to write in Bob, the proprietor of the Beachwood Inn. He is truly America's Everyman; he is a small-business owner who has watched this election closely from the start with a clarity and thoughtfulness that puts our pundit class to shame. Plus, he has a wealth of experience with both domestics and imports.


Although this guy looks interesting.

U.S. SENATE: Dick Durbin is as effective an advocate for the Democratic Party as they come, but if you think hyper-partisanship is the problem in Washington, he's not your man. In reality, though, he's far more qualified to be president than his junior colleague. His challenger, Steve Sauerberg, is a doorknob. Kathy Cummings is the Green Party candidate, and I just might vote for her.

U.S. HOUSE By district.

1st: Bobby Rush is a joke. We all know it, but we don't all say it. Vote for Antoine Members just to give Bobby a scare.

2nd: No one has asked the obvious question of incumbent Jesse Jackson, Jr.: If you are named to Barack Obama's Senate seat, as you hope you will be, who will you back to fill your spot here after your short-lived victory? In other words, is this election just a sham?

3rd: Newspaper editorial boards like to blame the voters for not throwing the bums out, but then they always endorse the bums. Both the Tribune and the Sun-Times have endorsed Dan Lipinski, thus validating the slimy way he got into office and the sleaze surrounding his stay there. Lipinski's behavior should not be rewarded. Jerome Pohlen is the Green Party candidate and if I lived in the district, he'd have my vote.

4th: Luis Gutierrez is a little shit. We all know it, but we don't say it. This is my district and if I can find out a little something about Green Party candidate Omar Lopez, he'll probably get my vote over Republican Daniel Cunningham, whoever that is.

5th: I'm sure Rahm Emanuel can't wait to join the Obama administration and change the way Washington works! Um, yes, that's right, Rahm Emanuel for Change. Alan Augustson is the Green Party candidate. Tom Hanson is the Republican. Or you could write in Nancy Kaszak out of spite.

6th: There's no good reason to return Peter Roskam to Congress, but Jill Morgenthaler is still looking for a house in the district. I think Tammy Duckworth is too. You could write in Christine Cegelis out of spite.

7th: Danny Davis isn't the worst congressman in the world, but it seems to me he's tired of the job and wants out. Help show him the door.

8th: I don't support Republican challenger Steve Greenberg, but Melissa Bean is pretty crappy too. Write in Christine Cegelis out of spite.

9th: I'm tired of Jan Schakowksy, and even more tired of her check-kiting husband whose hostile and childish posts on Huffington Post are a perfect example of how so few of Obama's followers seem to follow his rhetoric. But then, neither does he. Morris Shanfield is the Green Party candidate. Michael Younan is the Republican.

10th: This truly is a tough race to call. Frankly, I haven't seen much depth to Dan Seals. I've always thought, and often written, that the Republican party undervalues Mark Kirk and that he has a future. Toss-up.

11th: There's no way I can endorse cement guy Marty Ozinga, but he's far more coherent than Debbie Halvorson, who is an Emil Jones flunkie full of double-speak. Mangle your ballot in protest.

12th: Incumbent Democrat Jerry Costello is apparently opposed by Timmy J. Richardson Jr. Punt.

13th: Judy Biggert isn't an evil person, but she's always been palsy-walsy with the financial sector. Steve Alesch is the Green Party candidate. Scott Harper is the Democrat.

14th: Might as well vote for the geek.

15th: The incumbent is Republican Timothy Johnson. "Johnson's opponent, Democrat Steve Cox of Urbana, has not raised enough money to require him to report his spending with the Federal Election Commission," the Bloomington Pantagraph reports. "Cox, a retired federal employee with no previous political experience, said he used most of his economic stimulus check to pay for the printing of 500 yard signs and a stack of informational cards."

Vote Cox!

16th: Incumbent Don Manzullo is being challenged by Bob Abboud, the mayor of Barrington Hills. Abboud is "running as a Democrat, is a businessman himself, a nuclear engineer who owns RGA Laboratories, an energy consulting business," the Daily Herald reports.

"Manzullo supports current policy on Iraq and Afghanistan, and calls for getting more support from NATO and Pakistan. Manzullo also favors keeping the Bush tax cuts, while offering a flat income tax alternative. and is rated the most fiscally conservative congressman from Illinois by the National Taxpayers Union," the paper says.

"Abboud, a self-described former Reagan Republican disillusioned by Evangelical influence on the party, would repeal tax cuts for oil companies' record profits, and on businesses that send jobs overseas."

The Green Party candidate is Scott Summers, "a McHenry County College trustee from the town of Harvard, champions Medicare for all and 'micro-capitalism' to support home and community-based businesses."

Abboud, however, sounds intriguing.

17th: Democrat freshman Phil Hare is the only Illinois congressman unopposed for re-election.

18th: Democrat Colleen Callahan wants to bring back the draft. Republican Aaron Schock wants to sell nuclear weapons to Taiwan and has a notary problem. Green Party candidate Sheldon Schafer is clearly the best candidate if the Peoria Journal-Star is right, but they were unwilling to endorse him simply because he lacked money to get his message out. Vote Schafer and impeach the Peoria Journal-Star for not knowing how to do its job.

19th: Incumbent John Shimkus is being challenged by Democrat Daniel Davis and Green Troy Dennis. I think you know what do do.

COOK COUNTY STATE'S ATTORNEY: Tony Peraica has a role to play in our political community, but this isn't it. I've had a hard time discerning if Anita Alvarez shares any accountability for the office's inaction on Jon Burge & Co., but she exudes competence, knowledge, experience and the possibility of a fresh direction.

COOK COUNTY CIRCUIT COURT CLERK: Shake things up and vote in the Republican, Diane Shapiro. It's not about patronage, it's about competence. Paloma Andrade is the Green Party candidate.

COOK COUNTY RECORDER OF DEEDS: Shake things up and vote in the Republican, Gregory Goldstein. It's not about patronage, it's about competence. Terrence Gilhooly is the Green Party candidate.

ILLINOIS SENATE: Selected races.

14th: If you really want the madness to end, vote the Clown. And I mean the real one, not Emil Jones III.

15th: There's a role for James Meeks in our political culture, but I think it's as an influential minister, not a state representative.

16th: Donne Trotter dresses nice but he's a hack.

41st: Christine Radogno is one of our brightest legislators and could be the Republicans' future in Illinois, if they ever get their heads out of their butts.

ILLINOIS HOUSE: Selected races.

22nd: Michael Madigan must be destroyed. Vote Famiglietti, even though he's probably a Madigan stooge.


1st: Anne Burke does not have an opponent except the righteous winds of truth, transparency and integrity. Do not give her your vote.


1. Constitutional Convention: Yes. One argument against it is that the state constitution isn't broken, but it is meant to be revisited every so often and now is the time. The other argument is that a bunch of crazy people could hijack the proceedings and, you know, do all sorts of crazy stuff. By crazy, most of the opposition means "pro-lifers." You know, the time is never going to be right if you are waiting for political and social conditions optimal to your political viewpoint. Besides, Illinois has never been bluer. What are you afraid of? Finally, the Machine doesn't want it and tried to rig the system against it, so what more do you need to know?

2. In Berwyn: "Shall our representatives in Congress hold current and former public officials, and private contractors accountable for war crimes, including torture and unprovoked aggression, in connection with the Iraq war?"



Posted on November 3, 2008

MUSIC - Chief Keef Changed The Industry.
TV - Vizio's Best Product Is You.
POLITICS - UIC: Soda Taxes Work.
SPORTS - More McCaskey Malpractice.

BOOKS - All About Poop.


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