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Renaming Trump Plaza

"Chicago may say goodbye to the 'Honorary Trump Plaza' street sign if Chicago aldermen have any say on the issue," CBS Chicago (and everyone else) reports.

"The aldermen introduced an ordinance Wednesday to strip down the honorary street sign, which sits outside the Trump Tower on Wabash Avenue. They cited the presidential candidate's "hateful and racist campaign against immigrants and minorities."

"Ald. Brendan Reilly, 42nd Ward and 46 other aldermen called for the removal of the brown sign honoring 'Trump Plaza.'"

Sounds good to us. But instead of simply removing the sign, we have some suggestions on replacing it:

* Ed Burke Plaza. Pitch it to tourists: The World's Most Plowed Plaza.

* Bears Plaza. If you get hurt there, nobody will ever learn how serious it was.

* Rauner Plaza. A non-union plaza without workers' comp and exempt from trip-and-fall lawsuits.

* City Council Plaza. Saves money by being interchangeable with Rahm Plaza.

* The Peoples Plaza. Peoples Gas lands the naming rights.

* Aubrey Plaza. Or would that be Aubrey Plaza Plaza?

* These People Voted For Trump Plaza: Let them buy bricks inscribed with their names so we can walk over them every day.

* Joe Maddon Plaza. Arranged differently every day.

* Wrigleyville Plaza. Right-plaza sucks!

* Smashing Pumpkins Plaza. Not what you think; actually a plaza for smashing pumpkins.

* Sun-Times Plaza. A time travel thought experiment.

* TIF Plaza. Taxes assessed on the plaza will be diverted from the schools to a mayoral slush fund.

* Private Plaza. The plaza will purportedly become more efficient while no longer being subject to the Freedom of Information Act.

* Free Speech Plaza. Citizens who wish to speak before the city council or board of education will now be shuttled to this plaza to scream into the wind for three minutes, max.

* Aleppo Plaza. Standing in solidarity with the Tribune's presidential nominee.

* Olympic Plaza. We bid on the Olympics and all we got was this lousy plaza.

* Marla Maples Plaza. Have a little fun, Chicago.

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Contributing: Tim Willette, Steve Rhodes

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Comments welcome.

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1. From Michael Webber:

Pussy Galore Plaza: Trumpian and Bondian at once.



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Posted on October 7, 2016


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