Rahm's Next Job

Given that he's on the verge of being unemployed, we've got some suggestions for his next gig.

* Fishmonger.

* Arby's. He's a legacy.

* Uber driver. They seem to like creepy characters.

* Next Celebrity Apprentice host. So he can fire people every week.

* Emo band leader. Alienated white guy from the suburbs - perfect!

* Host of Meet The Press. Where, for the first time, he will actually meet the press.

* Ditch digger. Because he'd probably get some sort of twisted glee out of it.

* Speed camera lens polisher. Because he'd probably get some sort of twisted glee out of it.

* Divvy tire inflator. He's used to inflating things - stats, his ego, his accomplishments . . .

* Reality show star. "Follow one man's journey In Search of Chicago's Infrastructure Trust!"

* Information broker. He's got all your data via Ventra.

* Head groundskeeper, Obama Library.

* Contestant, Tiny Dancing With The Stars.

* Taylor Swift's boyfriend. Then she can write "Meaner."

* Insult comic. He's halfway there. The first half.

* Craps dealer. Tons of experience.

* Sitcom writer.

- Tom Chambers, Tim Willette, Mike Luce, Nick Shreders, Steve Rhodes

Comments welcome.

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1. From Ed Hammer:

* Greeter at Walmart. He can use the same "people person" skills he used as an investment banker at Wasserstein Perella.

* CPS primary teacher. Payback time.

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