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American Dream Betrayed

Rahm's Bet With LA

Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel has made the usual boring bet - Eli's cheesecake, big surprise! - with Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villaraigosa over the current playoff series between the Blackhawks and Kings, with Villaraigosa responding in kind.

We have our own ideas about what would constitute a fine wager.

If the Blackhawks win . . .

* Los Angeles gets a whole bunch of new parking meters.

* Los Angeles must take Jim Belushi and Jenny McCarthy.

* Los Angeles must send us some real celebrities.

* Los Angeles must send us 50 new, utilized schools.

* We swap governors at midnight.

* We swap UIC for USC.

* The Hollywood sign becomes the Beachwood sign.

* The Oscars are renamed the Eberts.

* The Los Angeles Times becomes a Tribune paper. Er, wait . . .

* The Los Angeles Times reassigns its photo staff to the Chicago Sun-Times.

If the Kings win . . .

* A new Jumbotron for Dodger Stadium!

* Chicago must take Ari Emanuel back.

* Hot Doug's Hollywood!

* Tribune Company must sell the LA Times to Steven Spielberg.

* Please welcome Tyrannosaurus Sue to the La Brea Tar Pits!

* Lollapalooza becomes LApalooza.

* The Hollywood sign becomes the Beachwood sign.

* Disneyland gets Museum of Science and Industry's Lincoln head mold-o-rama machine.

* Outfit provides free cement for expansion of Grauman's Chinese Theater sidewalk.

* Art Institute to curate Hollywood Wax Museum.

-

Comments welcome.



Permalink

Posted on June 3, 2013


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BOOKS - The Secrets Of Koch Industries.

PEOPLE PLACES & THINGS - Northwest Wisconsin Washed Away.


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